11/3/2014 November :( Cold & Snow Is Soon Upon Us
That means snow will soon be here. I was up on the Gunk ridge the other day, looked across my valley & saw snow in the upper elevations toward the northern end of the Catskills. It won't be long now.
Getting snow tires put on the Audi tomorrow. $180 per tire plus labor & tax. I've also added in a "Once Over Service" for an additional $15. My Audi guy, who was my Jetta's mechanic- wants to be sure I'm safe & nothing major is poised to happen. Fine with me. Wish I could have bought my Audi from him, but he doesn't sell cars.
I am allowing a bit of emotion from my recent past to intrude. Hubby bought himself ANOTHER vehicle. I still love the man on one level & I see him embroiled in what I lost my marbles over. His obsession with buying "things" & multiple payments adding up to more than monthly income. He just bought a 2011 Audi Q5 SUV. For $30k. Just because I have an Audi, he had to get one. He's waiting for a return from a real estate pyramid investment his brother talked him into to pay off the Audi. Pffft. He really thinks he's getting his money back & then some? Now he has:
2011 Audi Q5, 2002 Chevy Trailblazer, a 1990 something Pontiac Trans Am, 1985 Porsche, 1970 Plymouth Road Runner, 1970 Dodge Challenger, 2014 Can-Am Spyder 3 wheeled motorcycle. All purchased since May 2014. It is in my best interest to not give a fucking shit. Seeing my counselor Thursday- going to ask if this present inability to totally detach is somewhat normal.
Letting go of guilt over ending a toxic relationship with a woman I've know for many years. A bit more Grace would have been appropriate on my part. That's where the guilt lies. Not in ending the relationship. I see now Liz has been a toxic element to my soul. She called me best friend. I helped her through many real & perceived medical issues, depression, etc. When it's my turn to call on her for help, she has stood me up most every time. The most recent being the day Ladybug Car had to go in for service. I took a taxi home ($21) after dropping the car off & called her to arrange the pick up of Ladybug Car. "I'm like totally there! It'll be fun! I'm going to put on some makeup & fluff & see you in a little while!" I was to pick her up in my Audi, we go to the shop, I drive Ladybug Car home (she has a disorder in her knees, so she can't drive stick or be in the car for very long) & she drives my Audi. A half hour later, she calls to ask if it's ok for her to visit with friends who happened to stop by instead of helping me with my car. That wasn't the first time she left me hanging. Another $21 taxi ride to get to Ladybug Car home.
She was toxic in 2 ways. First, it seemed as if she was unable to reciprocate to me. Secondly, any conversation we had, she would (and I didn't see it until after I ended the friendship) feed into my negativity & depression.
I am healing & choose not to feed into or carry this negativity she produced. My greatest duty to myself & healing is to move forward into the Light of Positivity & nurture productive relationships.
Still considering my sister's offer of building a house on her land. I must first convince her to sell the land or it will be a real estate nightmare if I ever want to sell & move. And, I will visit Hawaii sometime late winter after I see my sister to be sure which path is the wiser choice.
Much love to my wonderful DS friends!
Getting snow tires put on the Audi tomorrow. $180 per tire plus labor & tax. I've also added in a "Once Over Service" for an additional $15. My Audi guy, who was my Jetta's mechanic- wants to be sure I'm safe & nothing major is poised to happen. Fine with me. Wish I could have bought my Audi from him, but he doesn't sell cars.
I am allowing a bit of emotion from my recent past to intrude. Hubby bought himself ANOTHER vehicle. I still love the man on one level & I see him embroiled in what I lost my marbles over. His obsession with buying "things" & multiple payments adding up to more than monthly income. He just bought a 2011 Audi Q5 SUV. For $30k. Just because I have an Audi, he had to get one. He's waiting for a return from a real estate pyramid investment his brother talked him into to pay off the Audi. Pffft. He really thinks he's getting his money back & then some? Now he has:
2011 Audi Q5, 2002 Chevy Trailblazer, a 1990 something Pontiac Trans Am, 1985 Porsche, 1970 Plymouth Road Runner, 1970 Dodge Challenger, 2014 Can-Am Spyder 3 wheeled motorcycle. All purchased since May 2014. It is in my best interest to not give a fucking shit. Seeing my counselor Thursday- going to ask if this present inability to totally detach is somewhat normal.
Letting go of guilt over ending a toxic relationship with a woman I've know for many years. A bit more Grace would have been appropriate on my part. That's where the guilt lies. Not in ending the relationship. I see now Liz has been a toxic element to my soul. She called me best friend. I helped her through many real & perceived medical issues, depression, etc. When it's my turn to call on her for help, she has stood me up most every time. The most recent being the day Ladybug Car had to go in for service. I took a taxi home ($21) after dropping the car off & called her to arrange the pick up of Ladybug Car. "I'm like totally there! It'll be fun! I'm going to put on some makeup & fluff & see you in a little while!" I was to pick her up in my Audi, we go to the shop, I drive Ladybug Car home (she has a disorder in her knees, so she can't drive stick or be in the car for very long) & she drives my Audi. A half hour later, she calls to ask if it's ok for her to visit with friends who happened to stop by instead of helping me with my car. That wasn't the first time she left me hanging. Another $21 taxi ride to get to Ladybug Car home.
She was toxic in 2 ways. First, it seemed as if she was unable to reciprocate to me. Secondly, any conversation we had, she would (and I didn't see it until after I ended the friendship) feed into my negativity & depression.
I am healing & choose not to feed into or carry this negativity she produced. My greatest duty to myself & healing is to move forward into the Light of Positivity & nurture productive relationships.
Still considering my sister's offer of building a house on her land. I must first convince her to sell the land or it will be a real estate nightmare if I ever want to sell & move. And, I will visit Hawaii sometime late winter after I see my sister to be sure which path is the wiser choice.
Much love to my wonderful DS friends!
Replies
I agree with letting go of that toxic relationship. I had to do that years ago with a couple who my first husband and I did a lot with. Through and after we divorced she was a big strength and so was her husband but as I healed and moved forward with life she was just too high maintenance. And she fed on drama and negativity. Not what someone who is trying to have a positive outlook needs. So good for you on bowing away from her.
On the issue with your husband. All I can say is OMG. I would rather have one brand new 2015 vehicle than all those he has. I got rid of my classic dually, I miss it but I\'m much happier driving one with a warranty. So glad you are out of that situation. Big hugs, love you, Sandy