11/20/15

I am not sure what I am feeling these days. I have been trying my best to focus on work and bettering myself and it seems like anything I do my separated wife has a problem with. I have stopped telling her the things that I have been doing to better myself. It seems all that she ever has to say is negative and she is saying it to bring me down. I love her very much and I understand that we are separated, but it seems like she is opposed to me becoming a better person. I started out with the thinking that if I show her that I have changed it would let us get back together and end this separation. I now know that I cannot make these changes for anyone but myself. I feel like she thinks that if I become a better person then she won't have a hold over me so to speak. She has up until a week ago kept dropping hints that she needs money for one thing or another. She has started babysitting and making her own money on top of the 1103 a month that I give her for child support. I feel like she just wants to live off of that money and nothing else. I support her in her decisions about the way that she wants to live her life as long as it does not affect the lives of our children. I am still trying to piece together the thought process that she ha when it comes to her dropping hints about us possibly reconciling. I don't understand it.