I WROTE.A LITTLE COMEDY ACT DURING A MANIC SPELL LAST YEAR.  I WANTED TO BE THE FIRST VULGAR CHRISTIAN COMIDIAN.I LOVE RACIAL AND SOCIETAL COMIEDIANS LIKE CHRIS ROCK, DAVE CHAPELLE, AND CARLOS MENCIA, AND THIS WAS MY ONLY STAB AT TRYING TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS WHICH I FELL FLAT ON MY FACE, BUT HEY, IT WAS A FUN RIDE.IT IS A POKE AT LEGALISTIC CHRISTIANITY. PSALMS OF A THUG:  COMEDIC INTROTALKIN’ ISH IN THE NAME OF JESUS:  NOW IS THAT BLASPHEMY, OR WHAT. AS THE PIONEER CHRISTIAN RAP GROUP, DC TALK FIRST PUT IT IN THE EARLY 90’S, “GOD’S DOIN’ A NEW THING.”  NOW, IN THESE “LAST DAY’S,” IN THIS NEW YEAR OF 2007 THE THING TO ASK IS, “TO CURSE OR NOT TO CURSE” THAT IS THE QUESTION.  UFF IT, LET’S CURSE.  THE ONLY ONE’S THAT REALLY GET TERRIBLY OFFENDED BY CURSING ARE MOST CHRISTIANS, MOST EMPLOYERS, AND MOST MAIN-STREAM MEDIA OUTLETS, BUT AS FOR THE REST OF US COMMEN FOLK OF THE WORLD, WE’RE ALL UFFIN CUSSIN’.  I MEAN, IF YOUR GETTING CUSSED THE UFF OUT, THAT’S JUST NOT TOLERATED BY ANYONE, BUT IF YOU USE A FEW SWEAR WORDS HERE AND THERE, YOU A) GONNA GET MORE ATTENTION TO WHAT THE UFF YOU’RE SAYING WHETHER IT IS POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE, AND B) IT ADDS A GREATER EMPHASIS TO THE MOTHERUFFIN POINT THAT YOUR TRYING TO MAKE.  YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?  IF YOU WOULD ALL GET THE UFF OFF YOUR HIGH-HORSES FOR A MINUTE AND THINK ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW THAT I’M RIGHT.  THINK ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE SONG, OR YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIAN, OR EVAN A FAVORITE MOVIE, CHANCES ARE NOW-A-DAYS THAT THERE’S AT LEAST ONE LINE IN THERE THAT YOU ENJOY WHERE THE ARTIST IS CUSSING WHEN IT IS ABSOLUTELY APPROPRIATE.  YES, IT’S SIN.  SIN IS STILL SIN, AND THERE IS A PAINFUL CONSEQUENCE FOR ALL SIN, AND I WILL NEVER DENY THAT.  (TRUST ME, I KNOW.)  I ALSO FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT THERE WAS A MAN WHO PAID THE PRICE FOR ALL SIN.  HE WAS A MAN WHO WALKED THIS EARTH OVER 2000 YEARS AGO NAMED JESUS CHRIST WHO WAS BORN FROM A VIRGEN, LIVED A SINLESS LIFE, AND LITTERLY GOT THE LIVING ISH BEAT OUT OF HIM FOR NO REASON EXCEPT FOR BEING SENT BY GOD AND LIVING OUT HIS FATHER’S PURPOSE.  COME ON DAWG, YOU READ THE BOOK, OR AT LEAST SAW “THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST.”  MY HOMEBOY, MY NIGGA, JES…..(HOLD UP, NOW WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE.  YOU’RE WHITE.)  OH YEAH DAWG, MY BAD.  LIKE I WAS SAYIN’, MY HOMEBOY, JESUS, DIDN’T CUSS, DIDN’T SMOKE ANY STICKY GREEN ISH, AND DIDN’T EVEN HAVE ANY SEX…..(DAMN,) HE HAD A LITTLE WINE, BUT HE MADE THE ISH, MAN, YOU GOTTA DRINK THE ISH YOU MAKE.  ANYWAY, HE LEAD A PERFECT LIFE ACCORDING TO THE LAW OF THE TIME AND DIED BRUTALLY ON THE CROSS, AND THAT WAS AFTER HE HAD TO CARRY THAT BIG OL’ MOTHERUFFIN CROSS UP THAT HILL WHILE HE WAS GUSHING OUT BLOOD ACROSS THAT ENTIRE HILL WITH EVERY AGONIZING STEP HE TOOK.  NOW THAT’S SOME GANGSTA ISH.  BUT GUESS WHAT MY THUG NATION…..(WHAT?)  HE BASICLY GAVE A BIG “UFF YOU” TO THE PEOPLE THAT KILLED HIM, (NOW IS THAT BLASPHEMOUS OR WHAT) BECAUSE AFTER THREE DAYS OF DEATH, HE SAID “UFF THIS.  I AIN’T HAVIN’ THIS ISH NO MORE,” AND ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND ROLLED AWAY THE LARGE STONE AND SAID, “YEAH BABY, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ‘BOUT, I’M UP OUT THIS BEYOCH.”  I KNOW, I KNOW.  YOU’RE PROBABLY THINKIN’, “OH, THERE HE GOES, AGAIN, MORE UFFIN BLASPHEMY.”  COME ON PEOPLE.  THINK ABOUT IT IN TODAY’S WORLD AND CULTURE.  MAKE JESUS REAL IN YOUR EVERY DAY WORLD, AND FOR CHRIST’S SAKE IN EACH ONE OF YOUR HEART’S AND SOUL’S.  (IF I WAS DOING THIS ON STAGE, I WOULD STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIC STAND AND USE THE MIC TO NAIL UNSEEN SPIKES INTO EACH WRIST AND DO MY “T.O. STAR POSE.” WHILE LOOKING UP TO HEAVEN FOR A MOMENT AND THEN DROP MY HEAD AS IF DEAD FOR 3 SECONDS.  THEN I WOULD POUND MY FIST AGAINST MY HEART 2 TIMES AND POINT TO THE SKY WITH MY INDEX FINGER WHILE SAYING, “I LOVE YOU DAD.”  THEN MY MIDDLE FINGER WOULD RISE BESIDE MY INDEX FINGER TO THE SKY WHILE SAYING, “I LOVE YOU JESUS.”  THEN LOWER MY HAND WITH THE “PEACE SIGN” AND SAY, “YOU SEE THE RABBIT ‘CAUSE I DO.  THAT’S MY DAD YA’LL.  PEACE, AND I’M OUT.  THAT’S MY TIME YA’LL.  THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.”)GZUS THUG.  PEACE AND LOVE,ROB    AND    DEUCE. P.S. MY DAD'S NICKNAME WAS ALWAYS RABBIT.R.I.P.12/21/91