Depressed

I am so, so sad. I spent HOURS crying my eyes out last night. I've been so stressed out, I've been planning all this time to go to college and now I can't do it, I studied to take just the COMPASS placement test and I started flipping out and I knew I'd have a breakdown if I went. Math makes me overwhelmed because my own Dad is a math teacher and I do understand like half of it but then there's ALWAYS that half I can't get no matter what. It's so overwhelming to me I've never been smart enough. I used to cheat here and there to get by my Mother because I couldnt do it (I was homeschooled too) & she would have me crying over B's or low A's saying I could have done so much better and make me re-take tests all the time. I finally got out of high school, graduated, and I never want to have to do schoolwork again =( I just want to get in at a good job/company and work my way up forever...