Sunday
So the "Mother of all days" is fast approaching on Sunday. (I mean no disrespect to anyone, its just my warped sense of humor showing). This holiday is a rough one as I know it is for my sisters of the heart who have children in Heaven as well as some of my other dear friends on DS who have moms in Heaven.
I have a plan as I usually do for the rough days. I will skip church as I cannot bear the "Mother of all days" festivities. I will go to the cemetery and leave a letter for Ed and tell him how much I love and miss him & I will clean up his stone and decorate it with fresh flowers I grew myself and cry. But its Ok now. This is now a part of my life. As my wise grief counselor told me I would eventually integrate my loss into my life and although I will never get used to it, I sort of know what she means now.
Then I will try & make the best of it. As you all know this is Christina, my granddaughter's first mother's day so I do want to celebrate her & Iysabella as they deserve nothing less. I am giving her flowers & a gift to mark her day. Its so important - this first one. We will take my DIL & Christina to dinner & I will do my best to enjoy their joy & enjoy being a part of it. I know my sweet grandson Joshua and Christina will give me a card and a gift as they always have & I am grateful to have grandchildren.
On Saturday my adopted daughter Donna, her hubby Derek & my adopted grandchildren, Kyle and Walter are coming over for dinner & Donna, who has lost her mom & me who has lost my child will be a comfort to each other. I have a nice card & gift for her. She is a wonderful mommy. :)
On Friday, I wll stop by my mother's and give her a card & gift. For my new friends my mother and I have a very strained relationship. For my own sanity I do not see her very much as she can be very cruel, but she is quite elderly and I feel I owe her for giving me life.
Sunday after all is over, thank goodness, I will come home, sob and write a journal, probably. I will light a candle of gratitude for all I have and in honor of my son and all our sons and daughters and moms who have gone on before us. And pray that we all continue to heal.
I wish all of you a manageable day on Sunday. Sending love and peace, Linda
I have a plan as I usually do for the rough days. I will skip church as I cannot bear the "Mother of all days" festivities. I will go to the cemetery and leave a letter for Ed and tell him how much I love and miss him & I will clean up his stone and decorate it with fresh flowers I grew myself and cry. But its Ok now. This is now a part of my life. As my wise grief counselor told me I would eventually integrate my loss into my life and although I will never get used to it, I sort of know what she means now.
Then I will try & make the best of it. As you all know this is Christina, my granddaughter's first mother's day so I do want to celebrate her & Iysabella as they deserve nothing less. I am giving her flowers & a gift to mark her day. Its so important - this first one. We will take my DIL & Christina to dinner & I will do my best to enjoy their joy & enjoy being a part of it. I know my sweet grandson Joshua and Christina will give me a card and a gift as they always have & I am grateful to have grandchildren.
On Saturday my adopted daughter Donna, her hubby Derek & my adopted grandchildren, Kyle and Walter are coming over for dinner & Donna, who has lost her mom & me who has lost my child will be a comfort to each other. I have a nice card & gift for her. She is a wonderful mommy. :)
On Friday, I wll stop by my mother's and give her a card & gift. For my new friends my mother and I have a very strained relationship. For my own sanity I do not see her very much as she can be very cruel, but she is quite elderly and I feel I owe her for giving me life.
Sunday after all is over, thank goodness, I will come home, sob and write a journal, probably. I will light a candle of gratitude for all I have and in honor of my son and all our sons and daughters and moms who have gone on before us. And pray that we all continue to heal.
I wish all of you a manageable day on Sunday. Sending love and peace, Linda
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