hello

Hi everyone, I am having a difficult day. Yesterday was the 18 month mark since Eddie went to Heaven. I have learned from Inga, ihart, not to place too much importance on dates but the dates always get to me. I have had a tearful week, didn't so much know or care what triggered it(too exhausted to try & figure out the triggers) & then yesterday at work when I wrote the date it hit me. A year and a half. Too long to be without my sweet son.....
I am also sad this week because I will not be going to the retreat this year. My granddaughter is too unsettled since she is not sure where she will be living. Her mom, my DIL Elaine took her back in only to tell them they have to leave again. In Elaine's defense I think the problem is not only her  but Christina's boyfriend Terrell too. I think that Elaine & Terrell are both stubborn & they engage in verbal arguments. I hate this for Christina & for the baby. i hate that Iysabella at 3 weeks old has been bounced around so much. Yikes, this is what I do for a living - help to stabilize children's homes. So at some point between my ex-husband & I, we will be probably putting up the 1st month & security on a rental for the little family. I just can't afford the plane tickets which are very expensive as you all know and the additional expenses I've had to come up with to help out Christina. I'm ok with helping out & I will just have to start planning now for next year's retreat but I am disappointed. I know it would have been a joy to meet all of you & a healing experience for me but its something to look forward to for next year.
I wish all of you the best weekend you can have and a measure of peace in the days ahead. Love you!!