Today I woke up crying again. I haven't done that for awhile, but on occasion I still do. I drove Eddie to work the day before he passed & I said you better go, you have three minutes (three minutes before he had to be in). I couldve have 3 more minutes with him & now I'll never get that back. He said, "Love you" as we always do & I said, "Love you too." That was the last time I saw him alive.
 
Today is rough. Who knows why today is worse than other days? When we were away, Ken's, (fiance) sister said when we were talking about saying love you to people when we leave them & how I learned to do that from my son & thank God I did since that was the last time I saw him, she said to me, "Why is that necessary,isn't it implied?" She has 2 grown children, a son & a daughter who thank God are in good health. I said, "well it becomes pretty important when you'll never see them again in this life." I am truly amazed that people dont try & be a bit more sensitive, but I know only people that have lost children truly understand & I wouldn't wish this torment on any mom or dad. She did make me cry though with her words, but it is just out of ignorance. Most people really aren't trying to be cruel. That said, still hurts.
Thank goodness I have my friends here to vent to. It does help & helps me to hold onto my sanity.
 
Eddie, I love you forever & think of you every minute. DEar Heavenly Father, Please tell Eddie I love him. In Jesus name.