So yesterday I went to the doctor to get antidepressants. I am looking forwrd to starting them. The odd things I now look forwrd to. I don't feel I have much else right now. I am at work and a horrible wave of grief & pain & reality hit. I will never see my child, my beloved son again in this life. And I hate it. I hate that he died at 37, I hate that his chidren are grieving their father and I hate, hate, hate that I must accept that I must make a life without him. Why can't I wake up from this torture, this nightmare that will never go away. Lord Jesus please tell Eddie that I love him and give me strength to get through the day. Thank you. Eddie, I love you and miss you. At times I still can't believe you're gone. I am so sorry your life was cut short. My hope in God is that I'll see you again someday. Love always, Mom xxoo
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I do hope that the meds will help you some. That wave of grief that hits, sometimes seems can hit anytime or anywhere and it hits hard when it does. And it is so hard when that reality of they are not ever coming back overwhelms us. The journaling seems to help us get thru, so continue to share when you are up to it. I wish some peace for you and hope you have a better day tomorrow. Hugs, Kim
Many moms have found help with antidepressants...I hope they help to ease your pain as well. Losing a child is a huge sorrow to carry everyday. AND, I agree...I would just love to wake up from this nightmare. I do want you to know that it changes and you do learn to cope with the pain. You can have joy again...so hang in there...love and hugs...Karen
Thanks to both of you, Kim & Karen for your support. I do hold on to your words of encouragement. Love, peace & blessings to you, Linda
Hallo,
You are at the beginning stages of this journey and I do not even want to remember how awful that time was but I do remember, so I absolutely understand. I was on Prozac for about a year and it was very helpful and many of the moms have needed the additional boost to get to a more tolerable place. I have now passed year number 3 without my son and I still cry and I still miss him and the one thing different is the intensity is a bit less and my breakdowns are less frequent.
What really helped me the most was journaling almost daily and having moms that understood the pain respond and somehow that took the edge off . Hugs, Inga
Hi Inga,
Thank you for your support and understanding. I am not suicidal, but it is really hard to be alive right now. I am hopeful that the Zoloft will help a bit. I think of and pray for all of us on this site that have lost a son or daughter. Its does help to write & reach out to others. I wish a good & wonderful day for you. Hugs to you as well. Linda
Linda, In the beginning I was on Paxil, Clonapin, and Ambien. For the last few months I\'ve only been on the Paxil, with the clonapin as needed but I seem to be surviving without it. My doctor and grief therapist have recommended I stay on the Paxil until next August. I do find that journaling here and my own private journal to Doug helps me alot. I\'ve been trying to listen to music, daily positive readings. Every little bit can help. Love and hugs to you. Sue