Do you ever wake up and not feel at all like yourself, almost like an alien has taken over your body? That is how I feel, I have woke up in a mood the past couple days. I am not in a social mood, honestly I am just numb like I am just a shell, like I am not even here, I do not even know why I am in this mood.....Yeah I am tired have not slept good in 4 days, and ofcourse I am in horrendous pain, but none of this is new, none of this should trigger the way  that I am feeling right now. I do not feel like me at all. I feel as though there is this other being living in my body and I am trapped unable to resurface to make things right........ Although, to be honest a part of me does not want to resurface does not even care, I am numb here in this place, I do not dweal on things..... because I do not care, I do not care if I talk to anyone, I do not care if I do anything, I just do not care, I am numb and right now to be honest, it is nice.....I am like a robot I do everything as though I am programmed to do it, I smile when spoken to and act as though I am listening and care, I answer the phone in my freindly voice, but the whole time I am talking or "listening" I am in my shell.....It is kind of nice being in my shell, feeling nothing, not really caring. I am realizing numb is not so bad, here in this numbness I am safe, no one can hurt me because in order to hurt me I would have to care and I do not. Numb is ok, I can live with numb, not that I really have a choice right now. Plus to be honest I am numb so I don't care to be any way else anyways. I am just numb............