Well here I am agian,doing better today not quite as sore and painful as yesterday.Sorry about going off the deep end.I keep reading about how people, who like me don`t look like they have anything wrong except some minor deformities,ie..scar from lower lip to chin,devated septum[not very noticable unless you knew me BMVA] and partial facial paralysis.I know that I don`t look as bad as I feel but sometimes I have a hard time standing,sitting,walking and other things that normal people do in their daily lives .Forget about me bending over to pick something up off the floor,I might just wind up on the floor with whatever it was that I intended to pick up.Any how getting back to my point.I know that before my accident in 1992 I thought that nothing could ever happen to me that would change the way I do things.I usually would do almost any thing that was possible and leagal ,as far as having fun and doing things like climbing a mountain just because it was there or riding a bike all day just for something to do.But with all the problems that I have now I really have to think about everything that I want to do.I can`t do alot of the things that I like to do.So most of the time I try to keep my mind busy doing smaller projects that I can stop whenever I need to.I don`t know what would ever happen if I lost the use of my hands or leg`s.I know with SM,I have a chance of loosing one or the other or both but I have decided to fight this until I can`t fight it anymore.I keep getting side tracked but I guess I`m trying to say that I know how it feels when someone you know say`s come on you can do this or that when you know that you can`t.Been there done that and it didn`t work.Believe me I have tried and it just isn`t that easy or simple.I am alway`s trying to find some way to get me back to being me but I just haven`t found it yet,so I will keep on keeping on and trying to find that next thing that might work and see if it will do the trick.Any how I can relate to those of us who look more or less normal but we are fighting an up hill battle even agianst our own families in some cases.But we have to keep on going to one doc after another and hoping that one of these day`s we will find the right one that has something that will help.Until then we have to push and shove and keep making noise until we are heard even by our own doctors.So if your doc dosen`t listen to you then you either have to make them listen or go find some doc who still listens to their patient`s.I know that sometimes it`s hard to find one who really dose listen but they are out there.I went to a doc who would try one thing then not do any follow up and after 3 years of this I finally got tired of this and went to another doc who would not throw in the towell after trying something if it didn`t help or she couldn`t find anything she would go on to the next step.After  three or four things didn`t pan out she decided that anMRI was in order with and without contrast and the Radiologist reported finding 3 syrnix`s in my spine.I was releaved and scared at the same time.I had never heard of such a thing as that,but when I looked at the MRI`s in the doc `s office I found them quickly[I used to be an industrial radiologist] and started asking what the next step was.Because of me loosing some feeling in my hands and weakness in my arms and leg`s I had to have sugery to relieve the pressure on my spinal cord.I am currently having the numbness comming back because they said that the shunt might block so I guess I will have to get something else done,right now I just don`t know.Well I guess it`s time for me to go and pick up Brendy for lunch so I`m giong to get off this thing for awhile.Talk to you later.M.