time?

i hate time.  it goes by and by but i feel the same exact way i felt that first day.  broken hearted, lost, aimless.  i go to work day after day almost numb.  i get up, get dressed, i work, talk when i have to, hide when i can so i can cry, go home, take care of dog (thank God I have him to take care of), watch some tv, come on this site, go to bed.  and still i miss him so much and think of him constantly.  people keep saying it will get better but how can it he was the best thing in my life.  for the last few years we were just at the point of just the two of us again.  it was great.  i think we fell in love all over again.  or should i say just a whole lot more in love.  cancer just ripped that apart.  ripped my other half away.  how can that wound ever be bearable.