hey everyone i am still here dont worry...i dont know for how long thow. things are still shitty i want to commit more and more everyday..i just want to die but i am trying so hard not to..its like killing me isnide...my latest attempt failed... my little bro came home and stayed the night...though out my pills and stuff on me...talked me through it but it still kills me..i just want to die and its hard to keep goingya everyone thinks i am a bitch and stupif and usleess here..everyone hates me...i dont blame them either..even my friends hate me..ya they should i am worthless so it doesnt matter that much anymore..soon i am going to go and not survive ...hey my family wont care for a fact i know thats true. why should they ..they only abused me and hated me...made me want to die even more...one thing that they told me thats true is that i am worthless thats true..hey they actull told me something thats true for oncei am fat and i know it. sometimes like now i will eat barely nothing..i hate being like this so i stop eating..i am going to loose wait no matter what and i will...i know if i dont eat enough it will help alot hopefully..to bad that wont do me and inprovemnt on my looks thow...i wish it would..hell that would be niceya i am also sick of getting treated like a slut...supposingly i go guy to guy and the thing is i kinda do that..its not like a sleep with everyone of them or alot of them,,,its just i need to know that someone cares about me and understands me...that atleast for then someone cares about me and will hold me thigns like that but soon it turns sour..things from my past..i am to much of a bitch..they hit me..things like that...i break up with them and move on quivkly...i only lost on guy and he left me couse he had to move,,hell i miss him so much its like theres a gap were my heart should be...a big one...i gave everything to him....i wish i new for sure that he loved me back that would have been really nice...and well ya i think i need to know atleast someone loves me..which id ont think anyone does so that well ya.....i just want to give upthe song runway love is true...hell is a place called home..thats so true and i complelty agree with that...ya so if you have any comments i will probly write toomooro..love you allXOXOXOXOXO