Whew!
What a long strange trip the past month has been!
I closed on my house on Thursday, June 21st. Didn't move in until the 28th and slept my first night there on the 30th. On the 3rd of July I flew to LA to drive cross country back to Buffalo with a friend that's moving back.
It was an awesome trip. We went through Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, South Dakota and then straight 90 home. Spent waaaay too much money so it's going to be a long, boring winter ahead while I get these bills paid off. But it was worth it. I needed and deserved to treat myself and I did. Felt so good to not have to answer to anyone about what I was doing and what I was spending.
Still seeing Rich. We've hit some rough spots but we're both learning to work our way through them. I didn't think I had a lot of baggage from my marriage but I do and I'm having to learn a whole new way of dealing with things. I was so used to just shutting down because discussion was never an option with ex but Rich makes me talk. It's hard at times but so worth it. He's just as amazing as he was. I've never had anyone that really gave a shit about me or my needs and wants before. You would think it would be easy to take.
At the second week of the cottage rental and our weather has been beautiful. Spent this afternoon at the beach by myself. First time I had alone time in over a month!
Had a run-in with the STBX when I vacated the old house. I swear he's a lunatic. Talking with him I now recognize all the ways that he used to manipulate and control me. He actually thinks he got the short end of the stick! Got a $200,000 house by paying me $50,000, fully furnished except for a refrigerator, all the vehicles except my car, alimony of $300 per month which will cover his taxes and he's still complaining. Whatever. I can't believe how lucky I was that he wanted out.
Weight loss continued and I am down to a size 2 or 4, depending on the manufacturer. I look and feel better than I have in 25 years. Have been maintaining the same weight for 2 months now so that's a good thing.
So here I am, just about a year after the breakup and I'm brown as a berry, skinny, happy, laughing and with lots to look forward to. I never would have dreamed this 11 months ago.
There is hope for all you newbies. I was in your shoes -- totally devasted with no hope and no one to turn to. Work on it, get yourself out there, you will get a life.
I closed on my house on Thursday, June 21st. Didn't move in until the 28th and slept my first night there on the 30th. On the 3rd of July I flew to LA to drive cross country back to Buffalo with a friend that's moving back.
It was an awesome trip. We went through Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, South Dakota and then straight 90 home. Spent waaaay too much money so it's going to be a long, boring winter ahead while I get these bills paid off. But it was worth it. I needed and deserved to treat myself and I did. Felt so good to not have to answer to anyone about what I was doing and what I was spending.
Still seeing Rich. We've hit some rough spots but we're both learning to work our way through them. I didn't think I had a lot of baggage from my marriage but I do and I'm having to learn a whole new way of dealing with things. I was so used to just shutting down because discussion was never an option with ex but Rich makes me talk. It's hard at times but so worth it. He's just as amazing as he was. I've never had anyone that really gave a shit about me or my needs and wants before. You would think it would be easy to take.
At the second week of the cottage rental and our weather has been beautiful. Spent this afternoon at the beach by myself. First time I had alone time in over a month!
Had a run-in with the STBX when I vacated the old house. I swear he's a lunatic. Talking with him I now recognize all the ways that he used to manipulate and control me. He actually thinks he got the short end of the stick! Got a $200,000 house by paying me $50,000, fully furnished except for a refrigerator, all the vehicles except my car, alimony of $300 per month which will cover his taxes and he's still complaining. Whatever. I can't believe how lucky I was that he wanted out.
Weight loss continued and I am down to a size 2 or 4, depending on the manufacturer. I look and feel better than I have in 25 years. Have been maintaining the same weight for 2 months now so that's a good thing.
So here I am, just about a year after the breakup and I'm brown as a berry, skinny, happy, laughing and with lots to look forward to. I never would have dreamed this 11 months ago.
There is hope for all you newbies. I was in your shoes -- totally devasted with no hope and no one to turn to. Work on it, get yourself out there, you will get a life.
Replies
Wow, you are really doing well. The trip sounds like you had a great time.
When you are able see how your ex manipulated you makes all the difference. Mine is still causing trouble and will until forever.
I can tell you are happy.
Well, thank God you were able to move on, and found Rich. What a refreshing difference he sounds like, as compared to fucktwad. But sometimes it takes us to go thru that storm (ex) to enjoy the rainbows (Rich). I wish I could have been up there at the cottage. I know I would have enjoyed it tremendously.
I just ran into an experience with someone here. We talked on the phone, emailed each other, had alot of \"girl talk\" time about our guys, etc, and thought we bonded. She said \"Love ya\' after each phone conversation. I bought a bunch of baby clothes for her daughter, who just had a little girl. We tried several times to get together, and something always came up. Now a lot of clothes won\'t even fit, but I bough some larger ones too. And she got huffy with me about it. So sometimes you think y ou are bonding, easy to do, with a keyboard, and type what you may, but then again follow up and reality may not be the same. That\'s one reason, I really didn\'t take you up on your offer, cuz I figured it was just a nice gesture, but probably not \"for real\", lol!
Anyways, sorry fo rthe little rant, about another so called friend here! But I am glad that you got to spend a few bucks on yourself. Hard to find those size 2 and size 4 clothing, so ya gotta grab em, when you find em! lol Same as with your man, grab him, when you find him! lol
Jwalker -- I am SO PROUD OF YOU and glad you took the time to do the cross country adventure. We never know what tomorrow may bring (or not) so we must seize the moment! Amazing country out there, isn\'t it? Glad you had fun and you sound like you are doing quite well. Good for you!
Blondegal, if getting together with this woman didn\'t happen in a timely manner (and everybody has a lot of stuff going on all the time) why didn\'t you just MAIL THE CLOTHES to her and try to get together another time? Also, consider the fact that some people would feel awkward accepting gifts from someone they don\'t really know. Be a little more kind, my dear, and your world may get a bit brighter!