Alone

I need someone to talk to but I can't find anyone.  I am so lonely.  I am so trapped.  I can't concentrate for the life of me.  I dont know what to do.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know what to do.  So I do nothing.  That doesn't solve the problem but I am so unhappy that I am just trying to survive.  I am on more medication today.  I feel sad but with no tears.  My legs are jittery.  I need to talk to someone but there is no one out there for me to talk to.  I hate my shyness, I hate my anxiety, I hate my depression, I hate me.  I hate me so much.  I want today to be over.  I want tomorrow to be over.  I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.  Am I ever going to have moments of happiness?  I know it is something I need to work on, but I am not to the point where I can help myself yet.  I am so frustrated with myself but I just sabotage myself and I do myself no good.  I am no good when I am alone.  I sit and I think and I knock myself down.  I am panicking.  I don't know what to do.