Boy this is tuff... all that yummy stuff in the refrig.. and I have so many yummy ideas for how to eat it lol... my main goal is to get down below 400 pounds... yepp I saw 399 yesterday... dang it was back up to 401 this moanin... I'm disappointed... but hey, I'm not feeling all that great this moanin no how... disc in neck are achin like all get out...
That back problem I had is still demandin a pillow to sit on... and yesterday... I think I over did it a tad bit walkin round woodmans for my exercise... then I couldn't get my door on the old van to open... it was like froze so I put the grocries in the back....
Then I smacked my head on the tailgate... why them tweety birds all yellow and where the hell them stars come from hey... I aint laughin... least not then anyway... oh well I'm a hard headed old stinker... yepp... least I wasn't sleepin in the snow lol...
My therapist ask me a question yesterday, well it just bugs the crappolla outta me...cause he ask me if my exwife ever loved me...
I really don't know...
I know my kids love me...
Jeeez do you smell smoke....?
okay nuff thinkin... frankly I don't much think about it too often... i really miss being married...I miss Debb... I don't really know what to say... it's been over for a long long time... I don't like living with myself why should I expect someone else to give a chit... (in terms of the mood swings, and the verbal snapps that fly in moments of pain and anger) you know... it happens... and when I'm grindin my teeth in pain... I look like I'm mad at the whole world... but I'm just in pain...
One little girl described me a a big scary man... I was so sick I didn't even care...
it's hard not gettin tire of livin like this... I hang on by tryin to find a blessin in all the sick chit life throw at me... I don't watch the news anymore cause it just breaks my heart...
Sad part is who ever gets in the White house... Just aint likely to give a rats ass if we the people... well ya know what i mean... I'm kinda in a negative... I've just tryin to talk myself outta this mood...
all cause of three dam pounds ... aint that a kicker... three pounds caused by what... that extra cup of milk or cup of water before bed... dang I'm spittin cotton balls every moanin... nasty dry taste in my mouth.. blowin that air up my nose aint makin me no smarter eater... like mo dummer quicklier...stupidmorely... Jeez.
AWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEe.......... maybe if I just hold my nose and blow reall reall hard all that usless crapp will fly out my ears and ..... eweeeeee how did that get in there...
I'm gonna go be lonelly now... vented don't fell any dang better... got this foggy brain this moanin... I don't feel sorry for myself I just feel like grumpin... how the hell ya gonna be grumpy ifya don't grump eh....
Oh I defeated Final Fanasty 12... yepp torn the bad guy a new one... well his butt kinda explode when all them good guy was kickin it lol...
I really like the Burnout series games... gee problem is now I'm racein myself lol.. can't beat my top speeds... and well that multi-taskin stuff is way slower that two years ago.. but hey doin 160 miles an hour in ya underwear with a beer is... way cool long as it on sony... and in the living room lol... gosh no I get scared doin 70 on the freeway lol... and i won't drive ifins I bee havin a beer... nope ... too dang old for that... me if i have a beer, I'm gonna go take a nap lol...ya got it...hehehe... when you snooooze... snooooooze in style...
Well it's like minus 9, so I'm gonna go take my meds, drink a cup of coffee and get dressed so I can haul my son to the bus stopp... i aint makin him walk in this stuff... so any who....
If ya read this far I'm just blowin off steam... just a lot of pain this moanin... gonna be one those days...
HOPE yours is way better Russ
That back problem I had is still demandin a pillow to sit on... and yesterday... I think I over did it a tad bit walkin round woodmans for my exercise... then I couldn't get my door on the old van to open... it was like froze so I put the grocries in the back....
Then I smacked my head on the tailgate... why them tweety birds all yellow and where the hell them stars come from hey... I aint laughin... least not then anyway... oh well I'm a hard headed old stinker... yepp... least I wasn't sleepin in the snow lol...
My therapist ask me a question yesterday, well it just bugs the crappolla outta me...cause he ask me if my exwife ever loved me...
I really don't know...
I know my kids love me...
Jeeez do you smell smoke....?
okay nuff thinkin... frankly I don't much think about it too often... i really miss being married...I miss Debb... I don't really know what to say... it's been over for a long long time... I don't like living with myself why should I expect someone else to give a chit... (in terms of the mood swings, and the verbal snapps that fly in moments of pain and anger) you know... it happens... and when I'm grindin my teeth in pain... I look like I'm mad at the whole world... but I'm just in pain...
One little girl described me a a big scary man... I was so sick I didn't even care...
it's hard not gettin tire of livin like this... I hang on by tryin to find a blessin in all the sick chit life throw at me... I don't watch the news anymore cause it just breaks my heart...
Sad part is who ever gets in the White house... Just aint likely to give a rats ass if we the people... well ya know what i mean... I'm kinda in a negative... I've just tryin to talk myself outta this mood...
all cause of three dam pounds ... aint that a kicker... three pounds caused by what... that extra cup of milk or cup of water before bed... dang I'm spittin cotton balls every moanin... nasty dry taste in my mouth.. blowin that air up my nose aint makin me no smarter eater... like mo dummer quicklier...stupidmorely... Jeez.
AWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEe.......... maybe if I just hold my nose and blow reall reall hard all that usless crapp will fly out my ears and ..... eweeeeee how did that get in there...
I'm gonna go be lonelly now... vented don't fell any dang better... got this foggy brain this moanin... I don't feel sorry for myself I just feel like grumpin... how the hell ya gonna be grumpy ifya don't grump eh....
Oh I defeated Final Fanasty 12... yepp torn the bad guy a new one... well his butt kinda explode when all them good guy was kickin it lol...
I really like the Burnout series games... gee problem is now I'm racein myself lol.. can't beat my top speeds... and well that multi-taskin stuff is way slower that two years ago.. but hey doin 160 miles an hour in ya underwear with a beer is... way cool long as it on sony... and in the living room lol... gosh no I get scared doin 70 on the freeway lol... and i won't drive ifins I bee havin a beer... nope ... too dang old for that... me if i have a beer, I'm gonna go take a nap lol...ya got it...hehehe... when you snooooze... snooooooze in style...
Well it's like minus 9, so I'm gonna go take my meds, drink a cup of coffee and get dressed so I can haul my son to the bus stopp... i aint makin him walk in this stuff... so any who....
If ya read this far I'm just blowin off steam... just a lot of pain this moanin... gonna be one those days...
HOPE yours is way better Russ
Replies
Good morning Russ! I\'m so glad you were able to do an entry so I would know how you are. Please don\'t be upset over the extra pounds. More than likely it water weight. I hope you did\'nt hurt that disc in your neck hitting your head yesterday! Man, if it\'s not one thing it\'s another..........I don\'t know why your therapist would ask you such a question! Bad enough when we\'re living alone and lonely without wondering if someone from the past REALLY loved us. You had to be in love at some point to even get married. I think my ex loved me......it just did\'nt work out. Probably for the best since I\'m so decrepit now LOL! He might not have wanted to take care of me the way I am now. I just hate the chat thingy did\'nt work this morning as I really needed to talk to you. We probably could have cheered each other up :) If you read my journal you\'ll know what I mean. I am so down today myself. You take of that back now. You know there\'s a certain point where you think it\'s getting better and that\'s when you need to be the most careful. Well honey, if I was there I would give you lots of TLC and chase those blues away! I hope we can talk soon. I\'m thinking of you every day. Love always, Dale xxxxxx
Summer is coming Russ and that means (maybe) some of those aches and pains might just fade a little with the heat. I know how hard it is to try and look on the positie side when your in pain but, TRY! Don\'t like to hear you down, so sending a hug (hope it makes a difference) and lots of positive vibes your way. Sandi
You are right gotta let the garbage out sometimes russ.Better to let it out rather then to keep it in.
We all have feelings we could do without some days.Its alright!!
try not to judge the weight on a daily basis....go for a week at a time. The daily thing can get too discouraging too quickly...
Russ, I am pretty sure your wife loved you. People grow apart, but think most of us really love those we marry....sometimes, things just don\'t work out.....
Ohhhhhhh,well....hope you are feeling better....
xoxoxo
Almost all of what you said I can really relate to. I gained last week and I don\'t think this week is going to be any better. Woodman\'s would give anybody a good workout. As a matter of fact, now that you say that, I remember the last time we were there, I sat on a bench that they have in there while he finished the grocery shopping. I find it hard to eat healthy when he buys some of the stuff that he buys. I tell him I can\'t have that and he just says a little won\'t hurt you, well yes it will. Now my diabetes is all screwed up too. I get so tired, so fast I don\'t drive anymore. That\'s why he does the shopping. I went with him a couple of times and he doesn\'t like it taking that long to shop and I can\'t help how slow I walk anymore. So he decides what we are going to eat/buy and hamburger helper no matter how little you have sends my sugar sky high. Take care Russ, just remember others are in the same boat and it\'s either going to sink with all of us in, or stay afloat because of all of the rest of them doing so well. Life will get better!! Lots of Hugs!! ~~Faye~~