Gee, I've been going through what I call the Job complex...awe hell it's just a Why Me... really...you follow your heart and your beliefs with whole soul... and life kicks ya in the ass any way... suffer thru years and years of ridicule and rejections... stuggle day to day going without, sick and pained... depressed and lonely... and you wonder Why... where's my rewared for being faithful, for following Gods.
Then I just realised, as i sipp my coffee... I'm not under a bridge...I'm warm, well fed... Loved... even respected by a few people in my life... whole damn town knows who I am even if I don't know who they are... I'm treated with respect... far as i know I have not crossed anyone... But most of all... my reward is my Children... They are healthy, able body citizens that any parent should be Proud of... They are the most precious things in my life...along with my friends... and i have Friends... that are like diamonds, and gold.... and i know my friends and my children will be here for me long after the money is gone...
I've really have led a Blessed life... all the pain and suffering I have to endure... can not take away the Love and Joy I've enjoyed all my life as an Adult... The pain my cloud my mind and I may drift off into a sea of doubt... but as long as I can remember... cling to the Love and Friendship I have here on DS... and here in Mindoro... I can find safe harbor from the storms of Pain and Depression... This is my Reward... Love and Friendship...
This is the Greatest Reward of all.... more precious than any material gains in this old world...
And there is still One greater Reward I have revieved I often take for Grated.... Jesus... and Our Wonderful Creators Blessing... I truely believe God is my Friend Too... I wonder why I ever have doubt... At least I have Faith... and I cling to my Faith with my every fiber... one day at a time....
I realise I don't want no REWARD... I have all that I need... more that I even imagined....
Most of all I Feel Loved...
Next time I feel like crying... Why me... I'll just cry hold me...
because God does hold me... substains me through the pain...loneliness and depression... I have so much to be thankful for... this I need to remember when my mind is clouded by pain...
My thoughts are to both Father and Son... Thank you... for your wonderful gift of Love... in Jesus name amen...
Then I just realised, as i sipp my coffee... I'm not under a bridge...I'm warm, well fed... Loved... even respected by a few people in my life... whole damn town knows who I am even if I don't know who they are... I'm treated with respect... far as i know I have not crossed anyone... But most of all... my reward is my Children... They are healthy, able body citizens that any parent should be Proud of... They are the most precious things in my life...along with my friends... and i have Friends... that are like diamonds, and gold.... and i know my friends and my children will be here for me long after the money is gone...
I've really have led a Blessed life... all the pain and suffering I have to endure... can not take away the Love and Joy I've enjoyed all my life as an Adult... The pain my cloud my mind and I may drift off into a sea of doubt... but as long as I can remember... cling to the Love and Friendship I have here on DS... and here in Mindoro... I can find safe harbor from the storms of Pain and Depression... This is my Reward... Love and Friendship...
This is the Greatest Reward of all.... more precious than any material gains in this old world...
And there is still One greater Reward I have revieved I often take for Grated.... Jesus... and Our Wonderful Creators Blessing... I truely believe God is my Friend Too... I wonder why I ever have doubt... At least I have Faith... and I cling to my Faith with my every fiber... one day at a time....
I realise I don't want no REWARD... I have all that I need... more that I even imagined....
Most of all I Feel Loved...
Next time I feel like crying... Why me... I'll just cry hold me...
because God does hold me... substains me through the pain...loneliness and depression... I have so much to be thankful for... this I need to remember when my mind is clouded by pain...
My thoughts are to both Father and Son... Thank you... for your wonderful gift of Love... in Jesus name amen...
Replies
AMEN!! Happy Holidays My friend, may you have a wonderful day filled with lots of love, peace, happiness and joy! Best wishes to you and yours. Take care!
Hugs,
Michelle
Wonderful wonderful journal my friend.Iam so glad that you count your blessings through the hard times.Thats what real life is all about being thankful for the small and glorious things we take for granted.
Peace be with you this new year and may you always be able to see god in your life in spite of the pain.
Salute!!
Rachel
Russ, thank you!!! YOu made me remember that I\'m not alone and that I have friends and I have God in my life, I just forgot for awhile, your belief and your life give me inspiration in my life. You have a Happy New Year and dont stop beliving.