woke up at 3 AM well little before... in pain couldn't sleep...same old same o... just a different day... funny I didn't thing the asprin would help but it did... took the edge off... not i have this dull roar...beats a screamin meme lol... kinda like a naggin ex spouse if ya lock your self in your room the screamin don't hurt your ears so much thru the door lol...

hello darkness my old friend...
I've come to visit you again...
forgot the next verse lol...

senior year of highschool our english teacher.. he had us study simon in garfunkel... each song... the meaning... the music...and of course what he thought it all meant.... it all was kinda over my little redneckhead... yeppers... at the time I was already busy being a silent rock island...

abused silent and alone... didn't fit in with the other kids, cause hey...my mind was busy daydreamin of a nonabusive life...so while simon and garfunkel, sang I dreamed... not about girlfriends or sex... about having a life that I controled... no beatings and screamin and cussin... Peace... no worries... yeah rite... pipe dreams for a kid in my shoes...

Quite frankly i thought it was the norm for me to be beat... and cussed... no one gave a dam... neighbors see my gettin the chit beat out of me in the back yard, just turn away and say nothin...man I hated people seein me get beat... they must of thought I was a real terror...when all I did was look at the old woman wrong... yepp... all comes floodin back on moanins like this... the beatins and the cussin...

Fact i woke up from dreamin about this chit... last beatin I got I was 16, gosh 39 friggin years and I'm still in pain... and you wonder why I'm a tad bit crazy lol... aint no other nother way to be....

At least I have happiness in my life... some laughter... great kids... greater grandkids... don't matter if they give a chit... only matters that they there... wonderful gifts from God... to watch grow and all that jazz...

I'm easy to please... give me a brat and a beer... good music...someting with a beat... toe tapper... makes ya wanna dance... treat me like Im human, and I'm good... treat me badly I'll ignore ya... yepp...

I try to ignore pain too.... lot good it do... there are several ways to ignore pain... beer.. Crown Royal... Hunters.... I'm a Canadian Whiskey fan.... all I can afford once in a great while is Called Ten High lol... cheap rot gut that burn all the way down... well as you can probably tell I don't drink much... I think about it... tried to hide in a bottle more than once... YUCKY.....

I always kinda related to the song...

Mama's dont let em grow up to be cowboys...
don't let em pick guitars and ride in old trucks...
make em be doctors and lawyers and such...

Their never at home and they always alone...
even with someone they love....
......music.....

you didn't think I'd sing the whole thing did ya...

where's me guitar... oh hangin on the wall over there... miss pickin that thing... my favorite song to play was the house of the risin sun.....

Amazin Grace when I feelin... i got a feelin aint gonna be long before the spirit touches me again...
oh nuff this ... need more coffee...

later best wishes Russ