I got a few mminutes to let my fingers do the walkin thru my thoughts...I'ts a mysterious journey and I never really know where I'm gonna turn up..
I have crazy dreams when i napp and use the breathin machine, get that deep sleep and rabbid brain involvement...aka (rem) I've heard that dreams only last a few seconds, but some of mine seem like a life time... some of em seem a whole different life time...
I can understand most dreams... generally they are about what we worry about most...like today I dreamed I was lookin for a certain pawn shop to get twenty bucks for something like a fishin trip with my dad... the adopted one..
first of all my adopted dad bought a real nice boat and we never got to go fishin in it ever... set in the back pasture untill he sold it and got a biger camper... my adopted mom thought we'd run off and drink beer so we couldn't ever do anything together.. sad aint it...
second I'm broke already this month so I may go to the check advance place or draw some out of my little old savinin got whoppin 120 dollars in a savings account... but sometimes I'd rather raid the savings than pay the 400% interest on those check loans...
so I figure this dream has do do with my memories of my adopted dad and my need for more money lol...
So the dream weaves on and I have the shop and it's run by a mexican friend I knew in high school... but he aint there... and i get the run around about this and that...so I leave, and I run into this friend from highschool and he and his brother take me to this trailer park... Kids speeding thru the trailer park my friend is tellin him to slow down... i reckonize this park but now it's like a trash dump... the lots are all fenced in and there's old furniture and bedding all over the yards, it's a mess and it's unhealthy... and there's multi family living in one trailer after another...geeesh..
It's amazing the amount of details the brain conjures up in a dream...i have no idea why I dream about this highschool friend...or my old trailer park..some times I wish I was back in my old moble home...
It was a 1965 10X55. I had added two rooms on to it... one room was 12 by 15, and one was like five by eight lol... least it was paid for...
I felt so blessed to have that old trailer, there were so many people in the greater Austin area that were homeless and they all made way more than my wife and I earned...
I worked as many odd jobs as I could find, sick and sometimes i couldn't even stand up straight... was even accused of being hung over from drinkin too much heck I hadn't had a beer in weeks cause my kids came first i'd even go without ciggerettes so my kids have food...
But people draw conclusion from what they hear, an seldom get the facts before they run off their traps...
in the end I had replaced the floor from front to rear, tore out all the old panel and insulated and sheetrock the intire trailer.
taped it and floated built window seals in every window, It was a beautiful little trailer... three bedroom one bath... i sold it for 7,000 dollars...
paid 1,004.00 dollars for it... remodeled the kitchen three times. raised three children in it and most my fondest memories are with that little moble home...
we lived in it nine years...
What I really don't like is when someone thinks people with fibromyalgia just think they hurt worse than anyone else... cause I was taught a child to not show pain... you can bet ya bottom dollar i walked straight and proud into class a many time when i felt like crawling... but then they know I was a bad kid, it was my fault I got the snot beat out of me... and i grew up to believe everything bad was my fault...well reckon I rambled enough for one afternoon...
I'm not ashamed of my past... maybe I aint a famous, rich, or even well thought of... all i care about is my kids grew up without the beatings and the verbal abuse... Oh I yelled but I'm careful what I say... i spanked but only three on the hinny when I was not angry... or untill they too big... cant spank a teanager... just aint cool...
okay nuff this bull hockey later russ 10/10 on the old pain scale i flicked the horrible face but watch this lol
I have crazy dreams when i napp and use the breathin machine, get that deep sleep and rabbid brain involvement...aka (rem) I've heard that dreams only last a few seconds, but some of mine seem like a life time... some of em seem a whole different life time...
I can understand most dreams... generally they are about what we worry about most...like today I dreamed I was lookin for a certain pawn shop to get twenty bucks for something like a fishin trip with my dad... the adopted one..
first of all my adopted dad bought a real nice boat and we never got to go fishin in it ever... set in the back pasture untill he sold it and got a biger camper... my adopted mom thought we'd run off and drink beer so we couldn't ever do anything together.. sad aint it...
second I'm broke already this month so I may go to the check advance place or draw some out of my little old savinin got whoppin 120 dollars in a savings account... but sometimes I'd rather raid the savings than pay the 400% interest on those check loans...
so I figure this dream has do do with my memories of my adopted dad and my need for more money lol...
So the dream weaves on and I have the shop and it's run by a mexican friend I knew in high school... but he aint there... and i get the run around about this and that...so I leave, and I run into this friend from highschool and he and his brother take me to this trailer park... Kids speeding thru the trailer park my friend is tellin him to slow down... i reckonize this park but now it's like a trash dump... the lots are all fenced in and there's old furniture and bedding all over the yards, it's a mess and it's unhealthy... and there's multi family living in one trailer after another...geeesh..
It's amazing the amount of details the brain conjures up in a dream...i have no idea why I dream about this highschool friend...or my old trailer park..some times I wish I was back in my old moble home...
It was a 1965 10X55. I had added two rooms on to it... one room was 12 by 15, and one was like five by eight lol... least it was paid for...
I felt so blessed to have that old trailer, there were so many people in the greater Austin area that were homeless and they all made way more than my wife and I earned...
I worked as many odd jobs as I could find, sick and sometimes i couldn't even stand up straight... was even accused of being hung over from drinkin too much heck I hadn't had a beer in weeks cause my kids came first i'd even go without ciggerettes so my kids have food...
But people draw conclusion from what they hear, an seldom get the facts before they run off their traps...
in the end I had replaced the floor from front to rear, tore out all the old panel and insulated and sheetrock the intire trailer.
taped it and floated built window seals in every window, It was a beautiful little trailer... three bedroom one bath... i sold it for 7,000 dollars...
paid 1,004.00 dollars for it... remodeled the kitchen three times. raised three children in it and most my fondest memories are with that little moble home...
we lived in it nine years...
What I really don't like is when someone thinks people with fibromyalgia just think they hurt worse than anyone else... cause I was taught a child to not show pain... you can bet ya bottom dollar i walked straight and proud into class a many time when i felt like crawling... but then they know I was a bad kid, it was my fault I got the snot beat out of me... and i grew up to believe everything bad was my fault...well reckon I rambled enough for one afternoon...
I'm not ashamed of my past... maybe I aint a famous, rich, or even well thought of... all i care about is my kids grew up without the beatings and the verbal abuse... Oh I yelled but I'm careful what I say... i spanked but only three on the hinny when I was not angry... or untill they too big... cant spank a teanager... just aint cool...
okay nuff this bull hockey later russ 10/10 on the old pain scale i flicked the horrible face but watch this lol
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