Well, I wonder if it's just my hearing that causes me to be so confused sometime. You have no Idea what I've missed out on in life because of what I did not hear, or understand. By the time my mind translates the Muff Nuffs my ears hear into what I think you said. I hear sounds pretty good, just don't hear the words. Like sick and six of fifty and sixty, there is no real way to write what I hear.
I'm bad about abliving, makeing out like I heard or understand, then trying to bully my way thru.
Then there are the good folks that find a way to use that to their advantage, LOL... Like kids hehehehe. But Dad I asked you and you said yeah. Awe those are some fund memories.
I wonder sometimes how many times someone said I love ya and I didn't hear. I have sit so many times and let people talk to me about this and that. Only to catch part of what they were saying. I had a friend that was in World War II, He would tell me about his experiences as he was the one who cleaned up after a fire fight. He drove a bulldozer and pushed all the bodies into a pit to bury them. Then he said one would get up and run like hell... He told me many thing I never did understand, but I listen like I did. War is hell. He's gone now my friend, but he was able to get some of the horrible things off his mind about the war and his job that bothered him all those years. Guess deaf ears are good for something.
Sorry, lot of my friends were Vietnam Vets. They all had their horror stories and needed someone to listen. Those that I could understand, well gee, I kinda wished it wasn't so....
I do how ever find that lots of people that can hear, don't... They just don't listen. Then I wonder are these folks fakin it like I do...
Well only they know for sure... I'm big on telling folks I can't hear.
and I ask for repeated statements sometimes. Yesterday I realised just how much I don't hear my therapist. Then there was the fact I wanted to discuss my anger, and he had something else on the fire lol...
How's my anger? It's in check, but that don't mean I don't need to address it sometimes. I mean gee I'd like to understand why I think so different that everyone else. Thinkin, hearing, and anger.... HHHHHhhhhMMMMMmmmmmm......
Then maybe I'm just not understanding what going on. Cause I'm not hearing what he is saying. Reading lips aint all it's cracked up to be. words that sound alike have the same lip movement. Lots of it has to do with facial expression.
I'm like, hit me with a stick first then you got my attention. Yeah I have an attention problem.
The reason I'm rambling about hearing is. I'm loosing what little hearing I have, each year it's a little more, soon my lifes gonna be a silent movie.
I haven't heard the birds sing in years now. Music on the radio is almost undecernable. Heck the front wheel bearing on my old van are screamin, I feel em but I can't hear em. I can feel doors being shut. and It's really strange. Sometimes late at night or early in the morning when everything is quiet, I feel strange things air pressure changing, I think I hear something, awe that's just my ears ringin, well sometimes my ears make weird noise, screathing eerie sounds like they doing right now. Theses keys don't make no sound to my ears. I can feel them clik under my fingers. I'm learning to see with my finger.
It's not no biggie, just another little thingy I have to deal with in my life. Guess that's what it all boils down to. is Life and the things that We must learn to except and live with. While others try and make life better, for a fee. Life continues on, one day at a time.
I think I've done very well, with my life. I don't backstabb my friends. I don't try and spred gossip. If I can't find something good to say about someone, I try to keep my mouth shut. (not perfect) but I don't make it a habit. Between the pain, the PTSD, thats important, cause My mind works in mysterious ways. All these mixed up physical problems and the mental problems, I'm surprised I'm not runnin screamin and naked down the street... but hey, I'm not I'm hangin in here with my old rope...
I have to say I've had an amazeing life... I've seem so many amazeing things, some beyond description. some beyond normal...
I've felt love, and friendship. I found the desire to continue when I wanted to give up and just die... Life is the most precious thing we have. That's why we cling to every moment of it... I'm feeling Our Creator. He's proud of us for the most part. Least each of us on a personal basic.
Russ
I'm bad about abliving, makeing out like I heard or understand, then trying to bully my way thru.
Then there are the good folks that find a way to use that to their advantage, LOL... Like kids hehehehe. But Dad I asked you and you said yeah. Awe those are some fund memories.
I wonder sometimes how many times someone said I love ya and I didn't hear. I have sit so many times and let people talk to me about this and that. Only to catch part of what they were saying. I had a friend that was in World War II, He would tell me about his experiences as he was the one who cleaned up after a fire fight. He drove a bulldozer and pushed all the bodies into a pit to bury them. Then he said one would get up and run like hell... He told me many thing I never did understand, but I listen like I did. War is hell. He's gone now my friend, but he was able to get some of the horrible things off his mind about the war and his job that bothered him all those years. Guess deaf ears are good for something.
Sorry, lot of my friends were Vietnam Vets. They all had their horror stories and needed someone to listen. Those that I could understand, well gee, I kinda wished it wasn't so....
I do how ever find that lots of people that can hear, don't... They just don't listen. Then I wonder are these folks fakin it like I do...
Well only they know for sure... I'm big on telling folks I can't hear.
and I ask for repeated statements sometimes. Yesterday I realised just how much I don't hear my therapist. Then there was the fact I wanted to discuss my anger, and he had something else on the fire lol...
How's my anger? It's in check, but that don't mean I don't need to address it sometimes. I mean gee I'd like to understand why I think so different that everyone else. Thinkin, hearing, and anger.... HHHHHhhhhMMMMMmmmmmm......
Then maybe I'm just not understanding what going on. Cause I'm not hearing what he is saying. Reading lips aint all it's cracked up to be. words that sound alike have the same lip movement. Lots of it has to do with facial expression.
I'm like, hit me with a stick first then you got my attention. Yeah I have an attention problem.
The reason I'm rambling about hearing is. I'm loosing what little hearing I have, each year it's a little more, soon my lifes gonna be a silent movie.
I haven't heard the birds sing in years now. Music on the radio is almost undecernable. Heck the front wheel bearing on my old van are screamin, I feel em but I can't hear em. I can feel doors being shut. and It's really strange. Sometimes late at night or early in the morning when everything is quiet, I feel strange things air pressure changing, I think I hear something, awe that's just my ears ringin, well sometimes my ears make weird noise, screathing eerie sounds like they doing right now. Theses keys don't make no sound to my ears. I can feel them clik under my fingers. I'm learning to see with my finger.
It's not no biggie, just another little thingy I have to deal with in my life. Guess that's what it all boils down to. is Life and the things that We must learn to except and live with. While others try and make life better, for a fee. Life continues on, one day at a time.
I think I've done very well, with my life. I don't backstabb my friends. I don't try and spred gossip. If I can't find something good to say about someone, I try to keep my mouth shut. (not perfect) but I don't make it a habit. Between the pain, the PTSD, thats important, cause My mind works in mysterious ways. All these mixed up physical problems and the mental problems, I'm surprised I'm not runnin screamin and naked down the street... but hey, I'm not I'm hangin in here with my old rope...
I have to say I've had an amazeing life... I've seem so many amazeing things, some beyond description. some beyond normal...
I've felt love, and friendship. I found the desire to continue when I wanted to give up and just die... Life is the most precious thing we have. That's why we cling to every moment of it... I'm feeling Our Creator. He's proud of us for the most part. Least each of us on a personal basic.
Russ
Replies
Russ, this was a very interesting journal..........seems like you are \'onto\' something....you have had many things to be thankful for.......:)....that\'s good....
and the hearing? maybe not the turning it around on others, even in a kidding way, BUT...lost of hearing Does make a difference..
You need to check that out......You are far too smart not to be able to do it....
have a good one!! and thanks for the offer of help!! appreciate that....:o)
PS....some from previous journals when you were talking about hearing the birds chrip, did that mean you were really using your imagination??? like hearing the the songs in your head???
you know, have always thought that the mind\'s ability to use its imagination in a Positive Way showed deep signs of creativity!!
lost of hearing??? Loud Music did that to me.........
what\'s the old saying? \"too soon old, too late smart?\".......;0)
No, I was talking about really hearing the birds sing. Ten years ago I could actually still hear enough to sit and listen to all the birds sing. I still remember the morning dove, and the mocking birds. They would actually mock other birds in the area. The field larks and a variety of other song birds that migrated thru the central Texas area. I even miss the night sounds of the crickets and frogs and other critters I cannot hear any more. Songs, well that\'s another story lol... I guess if i think about the birds enough I can remember how they sound. Russ
You\'ve recognized the changes you need to make. Now you can move forward! BIG HUGS!