As my friends list grows, I find myself struggleing to keep up with everyone. So I'm takin the Russ approach, HI ALL YA'LL... Some of you live half a world away, some just a different state, some of my friens here on DS are just within a few miles....
The strange thing is the connection. Most the time I can feel if a person is being honest or not online... it always comes out sooner or later. I truely hope I haven't cause anyone any pain, discomfort, or bad feeling... it is not my intent to do so... although I am slightly off center... about a half a bubble. You friends here on DS mean a lot to me...
You share a part of your life with me, and for that I am grateful, sometimes humbled, and always in awe of the things WE have all overcame, and those things that we still have to overcome...Namely our disabilities, pain, depressions, stress, and so on and so forth....
Life was so much easier for me when I was married... I felt like I had a meaning. I was braver, more determine to try harder. Life was fulll and I felt complete. All the little drama's that took place, well that just what they were. My ex being unfaithful, was at the most humorous, not to mention, just down right unfair to me and the kids. How you gonna handle something like that. I just choose to ignore it.. and prayed I didn't get some kind of bug lol... Basic line of thinking on my part was I didn't own my wife. I just tried to show her respect, and set the example by leading. I tried to not be an ass... really, life has enough problems without me being so dam jealous.
Yeah I was jealous, but not to the point I was gonna let my male ego, kick her boyfriends ego's ass... jail time just don't cut it. This world don't have no sense of homer when it comes to two men fightin over a woman, even if it is one of em wife...Sides that my kids needed a dad at home not in prision... for defending what My honor...
A person that cheats, has defiled their honor, well my own personal line of thinkin that is... I'm not judgeing any one. Ya'll go ahead and cheat. don't mean I have to.
boy i just wondered off thru the woods or woe lol I mean Whoa lol.. somebody chunk me a rope, i dug myself a hole here... In short, what happen with me and my ex, well it's kinda sad, kids suffered, i suffered, I never saw her shed a tear one, so I don't really know how she feels... I really don't give a hang either, its done.....
Then only thing I can truely say I'm sorry about is being disabled...
Not being able to work and earn a real living... Hell in my day I'd fix old V-ger three time in one day, I use to be a man, able bodied and all, now gee, sure I'm a male, (I checked ) yepp. It aint easy checkin the male now days lol... okay that's a joke, kinda lol... If I said it out loud, (i aint seem my little buddy in six years) gee I could of had it declared legally dead by now.... Dam what kind of man am I? Beside plum crazy, When I say I've been alone for seven years, it's been a long lonely seven years. Quite frankly I'm kinda scared about trying to have a relationship, I got parts I don't know if they work any more... Sick aint I... just shoot me...
Sex life? what the hell is that? Don't answer that, just let it lay, maybe it will crawl off somewhere and hide... Course they got communities where you can go and talk sex, gee whiz, stuff they want to talk about in there lol... seem so much like a waist of time... Well I didn't read em all.. I was thinkin this is a place you can find some answers, yeah right... I tried divorce, this is a informative site, still I had to work it out for myself.
Guess my biggest problem is I want everything done Yesterday, I seem to be in a hurry all the time. Time is money, well when I worked it was. Now there's another ball of wax I'd like to melt...
I'm feeling the loneliness this moanin.. I aint had a lovin hug in real person for so long... to feel a warm living loving woman wrap her arms aroung me and just squeaze..... Yeah I'm touchy lol... most men like to touch. makes us feel secure, it's the way some men show love. to hug, touch... Well for me then... okay, I like to touch my love, it aint about sex, it's about, effections, emotions, feeling wanted and needed. Is that needy? Is it wrong to feel needed. Gee is needed a word, nope needed aint in the dictionary...need= to be in want...obligation... to have cause for...needful -adj, needless-adj, needlessly-adv, last but not least needy-adj...
Guess the point is, alone, I'm incomplete. I don't have any thing to strive for. In the romance department, I got a kid at home so hey I'm busy okay... just venting some russ chit. Since my health been on the upswing, something been swing up lol... (use your imagination) any who, I don't know what kicks a lady into (heat) lack of a better word, okay I'll try sex-drive, is it romance?
I'm really kinda set back about this startin over stuff... Cause if I do meet some lady, and we hit it off. There's the kissin, now I have denture, and well hey. I'm kinda afraid that while I'm tradin slobbers they might fall out ya know... Another thing how do ya go about this face sucking these days. Way back when, anything goes, now at 50 plus are there new rules. SEE we done did that and well now things are different. hey she might have dentures too ya know... Is blowin in the ear still in? I know some still get those hickeys on the neck lol... seen em lol...geesh.. that's kinda like markin your territory rite! I never was into kiss and tell... what goes on behind close doors... okay, so any who, I've made enough fun about the datin thingy,
It aint fun being a fat old man, but hey, I'm hangin in here. Some day who knows. I just hope I make it to someday.... Russ
Oh it's a dull gray drizzly day, pain a 10 + and climbing. HOPE I didn't offend anyone with this whinin today.
The strange thing is the connection. Most the time I can feel if a person is being honest or not online... it always comes out sooner or later. I truely hope I haven't cause anyone any pain, discomfort, or bad feeling... it is not my intent to do so... although I am slightly off center... about a half a bubble. You friends here on DS mean a lot to me...
You share a part of your life with me, and for that I am grateful, sometimes humbled, and always in awe of the things WE have all overcame, and those things that we still have to overcome...Namely our disabilities, pain, depressions, stress, and so on and so forth....
Life was so much easier for me when I was married... I felt like I had a meaning. I was braver, more determine to try harder. Life was fulll and I felt complete. All the little drama's that took place, well that just what they were. My ex being unfaithful, was at the most humorous, not to mention, just down right unfair to me and the kids. How you gonna handle something like that. I just choose to ignore it.. and prayed I didn't get some kind of bug lol... Basic line of thinking on my part was I didn't own my wife. I just tried to show her respect, and set the example by leading. I tried to not be an ass... really, life has enough problems without me being so dam jealous.
Yeah I was jealous, but not to the point I was gonna let my male ego, kick her boyfriends ego's ass... jail time just don't cut it. This world don't have no sense of homer when it comes to two men fightin over a woman, even if it is one of em wife...Sides that my kids needed a dad at home not in prision... for defending what My honor...
A person that cheats, has defiled their honor, well my own personal line of thinkin that is... I'm not judgeing any one. Ya'll go ahead and cheat. don't mean I have to.
boy i just wondered off thru the woods or woe lol I mean Whoa lol.. somebody chunk me a rope, i dug myself a hole here... In short, what happen with me and my ex, well it's kinda sad, kids suffered, i suffered, I never saw her shed a tear one, so I don't really know how she feels... I really don't give a hang either, its done.....
Then only thing I can truely say I'm sorry about is being disabled...
Not being able to work and earn a real living... Hell in my day I'd fix old V-ger three time in one day, I use to be a man, able bodied and all, now gee, sure I'm a male, (I checked ) yepp. It aint easy checkin the male now days lol... okay that's a joke, kinda lol... If I said it out loud, (i aint seem my little buddy in six years) gee I could of had it declared legally dead by now.... Dam what kind of man am I? Beside plum crazy, When I say I've been alone for seven years, it's been a long lonely seven years. Quite frankly I'm kinda scared about trying to have a relationship, I got parts I don't know if they work any more... Sick aint I... just shoot me...
Sex life? what the hell is that? Don't answer that, just let it lay, maybe it will crawl off somewhere and hide... Course they got communities where you can go and talk sex, gee whiz, stuff they want to talk about in there lol... seem so much like a waist of time... Well I didn't read em all.. I was thinkin this is a place you can find some answers, yeah right... I tried divorce, this is a informative site, still I had to work it out for myself.
Guess my biggest problem is I want everything done Yesterday, I seem to be in a hurry all the time. Time is money, well when I worked it was. Now there's another ball of wax I'd like to melt...
I'm feeling the loneliness this moanin.. I aint had a lovin hug in real person for so long... to feel a warm living loving woman wrap her arms aroung me and just squeaze..... Yeah I'm touchy lol... most men like to touch. makes us feel secure, it's the way some men show love. to hug, touch... Well for me then... okay, I like to touch my love, it aint about sex, it's about, effections, emotions, feeling wanted and needed. Is that needy? Is it wrong to feel needed. Gee is needed a word, nope needed aint in the dictionary...need= to be in want...obligation... to have cause for...needful -adj, needless-adj, needlessly-adv, last but not least needy-adj...
Guess the point is, alone, I'm incomplete. I don't have any thing to strive for. In the romance department, I got a kid at home so hey I'm busy okay... just venting some russ chit. Since my health been on the upswing, something been swing up lol... (use your imagination) any who, I don't know what kicks a lady into (heat) lack of a better word, okay I'll try sex-drive, is it romance?
I'm really kinda set back about this startin over stuff... Cause if I do meet some lady, and we hit it off. There's the kissin, now I have denture, and well hey. I'm kinda afraid that while I'm tradin slobbers they might fall out ya know... Another thing how do ya go about this face sucking these days. Way back when, anything goes, now at 50 plus are there new rules. SEE we done did that and well now things are different. hey she might have dentures too ya know... Is blowin in the ear still in? I know some still get those hickeys on the neck lol... seen em lol...geesh.. that's kinda like markin your territory rite! I never was into kiss and tell... what goes on behind close doors... okay, so any who, I've made enough fun about the datin thingy,
It aint fun being a fat old man, but hey, I'm hangin in here. Some day who knows. I just hope I make it to someday.... Russ
Oh it's a dull gray drizzly day, pain a 10 + and climbing. HOPE I didn't offend anyone with this whinin today.
Replies
How could you possiably offend anyone when what you say makes so much sense.You expressed your hearts feelings.I do believe all of your friends get a deeper insite into the russ that you are.Which is a nice sweet lonely man.
I learned some things reading your journal today.I learned how a man can feel about being married.. the little things that makes him feel secure.That underneath all the humor and funning you are able to express your doubts your fears your emotional pain and heartache.
I for one can connect to some of your emotions.
Infidility is a killer of the soul between two people leaves us with some terriable battle scars.I walked in your shoes with my late husband.
He somehow saw fit to woman chase and cheated on me for years..it was very painful.Iam not a cheat eather so if he wouldnt quit it didnt mean I had to start with him.So is why I said he wasnt a saint.
But you dont have to worry about your not being perfect.Because you wear dentures or not being up with what people are doing these days.Over all fitting in isnt important when you find the right lady.She wont mind those small things to be a big matter to her.I speak for our womans side of life.Because there are still some women who do not care about a man being over weight,just a good man and one who appreciates her for herself alone.
Some women have been through so much that just having a good man would mean everything to them.So dont give up that you might not find happiness anything is possiable.
When you go into some of these sites provided people just push their emotions around.Its a repeat of a merry go round that never solves anything.Never getting to the real root of their problems.Too many opinions and some are actually happy with their pity partys.
Sometimes your personal friends can be more helpful and encouraging then some DS sites.
Everyone would like a quick resolve to our problems russ truth is there is no real shortcut.It takes time to cultivate to grow and learn to enjoy life in its self.If everything happened in a hurry we would be missing some good lessons we need to learn in life.
Thats why Iam in no hurry to date I know Iam far from ready you may be eather.From the way you feel inside you may not be for some time.Just because thats what other people are doing doesnt mean on line dating is for everyone.I found out that it wasnt for me with just for a couple of days in it.As as a matter of fact it made me feel like fish bate.
Real people should never have to advertise ourselves like bate on a hook.Anywhoo that is my feelings.
You hang in there and know that theres nothing wrong with the way you are.You just havent met the right gal yet, but you will you gotta have hope and dont stop trying to find her.
Much luck my friend and dont be sad life is good count the ways..
Rachel
Well stated, Rachel...
RUSS!! Congratulations!! You conquered being able to do paragraphs!! lol!!
Just keep on plugging........things have a way of working out......
Cheers!!
Thanks Rachel and Linda, I been wanting to get those feeling out and play with em awhile now. I\'m in no hurry, I figure good things come to those that wait, I\'m waitin lol... okay I\'m silly I know. Thanks for being there, listen and readin between the lines.
Russ i feel for you but it sure is hard to find someone today people are so picky i tried match .com what a joke.if you affunded any one its because they do\'nt understand what some people are going through and they dont care about your feelings or anyone else and remember be kind to your self if i could i would reach out and give you a real hug i love your stories they make me feel good.be kind to your self and have a great day....mema