Well the coffee finally kicked in, not....i was up at 2:30 am achey and misserable. Been thinking about what a sorry old fart I am. Reflections on my past didn't seem any better. Seems all my life I've been trying to please all those around me I Love... Don't seem to have gotten me any where, cause I found out I can't do that.... My whole teen age rebellion thingy was based on except me like I am not how you want me to be................................................. ................
sorry for all the periods trying to seperate paragraphs since puter wont. Myspace blogs are just fine don't know whats happening here on DS. some kind of error.....................................................................I noticed that I'm not being treated for any of my disabilitys I had prior to moving to Wisconsin, just high blood pressure and heart failure, and cholestrol. Oh yeah sleep epenia, I've never had an MIR, SCAT scan or any of those other test to diagnosis my fibro, or decide what it is..One rummy in Texas at the VA said I had rhumytoid arthris and fibromyalgia in my hands.... just my hands......................................................................Then when I wrote my congressman and complain about the lack of treatment at the VA medical clinic I was diagnosised with fibromytositis (Fibromyalgia) I am wondering what do I really have. besides PTSD, Attention disorder (ADHD) think i got that rite. arthritis caus rummys says i have some kind of arthrtis, gee thought she was suppose to be a specialist...I know I have chronic pain, chronic heart failure, maybe they missed chronic stupidity.... chronic ugly, and way chronic fat..... not being hard on myself, makin fun, gee this is fun........................................................................Well life has been colorful to say the least, i don't much like the way I feel sometimes, it's like death is standing rite behind me just screwin with me... have a good time fellow??? I think it stinks.maybe its one of my grandmothers many curses she put on me...oh well I aint buyin into that....I'm just lonely, hurt like hell. Afraid I'm gonna die a lonely old fart, cause my big mouth ran off everyone I love...I'm a mess today, well gee me, you a mess everyday not I, there we go argueing with myself again... Who is we? wat ya mean you gonna....... fades in to the distance fogg.... best wishes Russ
sorry for all the periods trying to seperate paragraphs since puter wont. Myspace blogs are just fine don't know whats happening here on DS. some kind of error.....................................................................I noticed that I'm not being treated for any of my disabilitys I had prior to moving to Wisconsin, just high blood pressure and heart failure, and cholestrol. Oh yeah sleep epenia, I've never had an MIR, SCAT scan or any of those other test to diagnosis my fibro, or decide what it is..One rummy in Texas at the VA said I had rhumytoid arthris and fibromyalgia in my hands.... just my hands......................................................................Then when I wrote my congressman and complain about the lack of treatment at the VA medical clinic I was diagnosised with fibromytositis (Fibromyalgia) I am wondering what do I really have. besides PTSD, Attention disorder (ADHD) think i got that rite. arthritis caus rummys says i have some kind of arthrtis, gee thought she was suppose to be a specialist...I know I have chronic pain, chronic heart failure, maybe they missed chronic stupidity.... chronic ugly, and way chronic fat..... not being hard on myself, makin fun, gee this is fun........................................................................Well life has been colorful to say the least, i don't much like the way I feel sometimes, it's like death is standing rite behind me just screwin with me... have a good time fellow??? I think it stinks.maybe its one of my grandmothers many curses she put on me...oh well I aint buyin into that....I'm just lonely, hurt like hell. Afraid I'm gonna die a lonely old fart, cause my big mouth ran off everyone I love...I'm a mess today, well gee me, you a mess everyday not I, there we go argueing with myself again... Who is we? wat ya mean you gonna....... fades in to the distance fogg.... best wishes Russ
Replies
Dont be so hard on yourself russ I know life stinks sometimes but even in its stinky times,there is still something wonderful about living life.To me the most beautiful are the free things in life.Breathing,sleep,enjoying a good meal,the smell of the morning air,beautiful scenery.The sound of the birds singing, a cool breeze etc,etc.
There is good and beauty in everyone even if we dont feel it or see it.We dont get handed more then god thinks we can handle,so apparently you are seen as a very strong man in gods eyes.
Sometimes life is one day at a time and one step at a time.Just know that there are people out here who are concerned about you your attitude and your pain.
Hang in there and look on the bright side of life its well worth it.
Hugs! Rachel
Russ,my dear...What gives? You\'re a worry \"wart\"! Don\'t let things get you down, sweety. We all love you here at DS. It\'s a good thing that you can open up and vent. Imagine holding all that inside? Loneliness, is very painful. I too am lonely most of the time. I don\'t like living alone! It stinks!( to say it nicely) If it wern\'t for my grandkids I would be lost! I\'ve been feeling depressed a little more than usual these days. I just lost my aunt who was 84 years old. She seemed to be the last person in my (not so immediate) family that thought of me and mine. Even my own sister is distant towards us! I went to my great niece\'s first birthday party and even with all those peopel there I felt left out since most of them were in their 30\'s. My brother and father talked to me a little but no female companionship my age was there. My granddaughters made me feel good any way!! If it wern\'t for them I wouldn\'t have even gone. Cheer up my friend! You have us! We care about you and we are there with you in heart and spirit. God bless, Your friend, Angeleyes333
Awwwwwww, Russ.....you feel bad.....:(
are you a disabled vet? cause if you are, or a vet of war time, there are Vet Organizations that PUSH to get treatments and such.....lots of those guys really know their stuff.....
Please don\'t create a problem for yourself about the paragraphs, PLEASE.....
there is supposed to be a way that a person can Enlarge the text with this mouse, but can\'t remember how to do it now.......grrrr
will see if I can find out from someone, and that will make like easier for my eyes......
You have a wonderful way to describing things......so never think, Russ, dah-ling, that Writing is out of your range....
Hope you wake up feeling sooooooo much better.....
Hugs,
Linda :)