Well a fifty dollar saws-all, took good care of that old rusty bolt on ole V-ger... gastank is leaning against the shed house wall... got the fuel pump out, cuts on my hands, and arms from that old rusty van... fingers and neck and shoulders are stiff, achey, but I got it done... now I'm no more sure of myself than when I started... can't tell it its the pump or not... seen a little trash in the tank, not enuff to plug up the line tho...well this gonna be a learnin experience... I be ed-U-mo-kated... now lol... good old trail and error mechanicaninnnn stuff... housing auth... givin me greif about my doggy, maybe I'm just freakin out...everything neew scares the chit out of me... ( watz dat brown spot) eewwwwweee brain is so weeak... seven years and no problems then pow...lease update, just did a lease renewal in March... hell they even raised my rent 7 dollars and my income has gone down this year not up... state takes all but 68 dollars my child support. get 16 dollars in food stamps, total income is around 950 and it wont make the month no more... food is up gas it up, nope that aint up... okay that was uncalled for ... more information than even I need this moanin lol.... hey...best jeff foxworthy impersonation... if ya been married three times and still got the same in-laws...you just might be a.... hell i was born a redneck, well it's true, worked in the sun all my life, when i could do that thing they call work... did big dog stuff like ruuffin, manwell labor... rode a bull once, now I'm just full of bull... stepped in it lol.. bull...horse and doggy..oh don't forget them chickens lol... I banged nails, mopped floors, empty garbage, drove trucks, and towtrucks, boomtrucks pickem up trucks, strecthed chain, chopped wood, cut wood, hauled rocks, dugg ditches, played with electical wires, rebuilt motors, replaced trannys, sold tires and kirby vaccum cleaners, worked on a circus, oil riggs, painted cars and house inside and out... as long as i could work I did... an I'd take any job to feed them kiddo's... buy those shoes and clothes and school supplies... yepp...didn't do that without payin taxes either... why do I feel like a second class citizen?... i think i'm a first class fellow really, is it wrong to think we deserve a little respect? Just because we have disabilities that we have no control over does this mean we should just eat chit and die... Nope I don't think so... I'm hard headed myself... gee screwy aint i... guess i need a song in my heart... don't have one this moanin, just pain, stiffness, worry, fear, and yepp loneliness... preview of empty nest... son spent the nite at friends... I've heard this town talk about this woman, we are call the towns bumps... small town aint bashful about givin you their two cents worth... that will cost ya a dollar lol... it seems she gets a lot of attention, she says I don't complain enough... I should make more noise, the squeaky wheel gets the oil sort of speak... face it there aint no programs for males... nope nada... siltz nuttin... i complain and they tell me to shut up... either i'm jealous or just feeling sorry for myself... gee i just can't hear no music this moanin... seriously i wake up with songs in my heart, I can hear the music all the time, it comforts me... dis moanin aint comforting... I feel dull....lost in a fogg... watched Ghost Rider last nite, good movie, I like sam elliot, and what his face, Sam got that John Wayne kinda attitude, wish I was as slender and rugidly handsome lol... it aint easy going from superhero to superzero, but a whole lot of us men and women do it... sure glad i found DS...and all you friends that keep me hanging on...i think i heard a song in that one... yepp lean on me... when your not strong, I'll be your friend I'll help ya carry onnnn boy... It wont be long, I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.... lean on.. yepp i done stick a fork in me... i can see clearly now.... best wishs friends ... Russ