Well I've had a couple good days, wish I could say they've been pain free. I just got off Myspace, was checking out my daughters home page, gosh it's so fancy, glittery, has all these fancy thingy mogiggys. Even got a slid show... I can watch my grandkids from a distance, and yearn to be near them. Then as I watch all the pictures all neat and labels , my sis, my bro, my mom, I wonder HEY! where my picture, lol then there it is. labeled bro wedding... not my dad... am I missing somthing here... yeah I'm kinda jealous... I don't even rate a my dad, or old fart, how about this guy changed my diapers, cook my meals, worked 14 16 hours a day to keep a roof over my head, Okay, guess it don't really mean much, I am ashamed I let things like this bother me... I displayed the picture of my dad with Pride, he didn't even raise me... maybe not having a dad made me more aware of who he was, how much I needed him...this is not new to me, I watch my friends growing up treat their parents like chit...I would of traded my adopted parents for real parents anytime, (remember i had an abusive childhood) hard to believe someone loves ya when they try to beat ya todeath everyday...


Is my picture on your wall?
Do you miss ya dad at all?
Why have we grown apart?
Do you know you hold my heart?

When I'm gone what will you say?
Will you miss you dad someday?
Would you have me beg and plead?
For the Love I truely need?

Is my picture on your wall?

........Man I'm I crazy or what...It's not like I think my kids don't love me, Okay I'm gonna blame it on the PTSD, I always felt I wasn't good enuff, .... Mama don't let your kids grow up to be cowboys, their never at home and they always alone, even with someone they love... don't let em pick guitar and ride in old trucks, make em watch cartoons and play nintendo and such... ok that made me giggle lol... My children had happy childhoods, I got proof lol... now the teen age years, well beware full moons... animals!!! wuffff... lol, yeah they turned into somekind of wooly buggers lol,,, scoffin down vittles (food)... terrorizing the local natives, oh wait i was the local natives lol... one wore mini skirts the other black lipstick, looked like spooksville lol... Oh and the pets, yeah they had pets, not a cat or dog, Son had a dam lizard one them (hey I can't spell it) any way the lizard had a hot rock, and a nasty attitude, younges daugther had Ferets, two of em, drove me batty, dang things they bite and chew up the tv remotes... the do not enter sign on daughters door was installed by yours truely, with warn of impeding danger lol... Yepp lots of fond memories, being chased by wild wooly buggers and their attack ferets, found a blue parakeet outside one day so we kept her, she land on ya an bite ya, and get caught in the carpet, and bite you when you tried to help her, she was somthing else, she died in my hands, yepp just sittin there watchin Mork and Mindy, and Marie(that's the birds name) she flew over and parked her tail in my lap, bite me couple times, few minutes later, I cried... she was gone on to that place little birdy go... bye birdy... funny how you get attached to pets... actually I don't have pets, they my little children lol... hey watta want egg in ya beer? I don't know how long birds live but we had Marie two years after my father inlaw found her outside and brought her in...Well I guess I've waisted enough of your time, I'm a little blue today, can't really say why, I'm achey all over, got a what the @#@@##@# kinda attitude myself, eat beans America needs the gas, bottle it and send to washington with a note this is how i feel about the way ya ruining the country... it stinks, How come congress and write regulations that voilate our constitutional rights and get away with it... taxation without representation... how come they spend 20,000 a year per person on inmates in prison, and then tell human resourse the maxium amount for service for a single person is something under 15,000 a yr. Okay bad fingers, bad brain, Oh as Oscar went yodelling down the mountain one day.... he ran into a ..... hey where's Oscar??? and why do we have to pay back the government for stuff we been taxed for all our lifes??? Ya'll need to think about this seriously... Yeah rite lol... you think Bush or Congress would listen, we aint got no Oil... well I don't own no wells, just Oh wells, or holes in the ground... I don't even own ground no more, sniff, sniff,,, I'm gonna go cry now... NOT... (blows rasberry) :)~~~~~~ hab a grate day... de de de de dats all folks... aweeee wats up doc... bye