About yesterdays journal..First I want to say thanks to those that read my words of wit..even more to those that actually care...For me it was just a vent...or an eruptions lol. As a kid, in Texas one of the summer time entertainments was slidin down a grassy hill on a piece of cardboard. O.K. its a poorkids X-game...I liked it, just like mikey lol... I was compareing my life to that game... I didn't get to do this much as a child... I was lucky i got to play an hour or two a day...it was like I was a slave, work to do and nothing was ever good enough... ever. So as I go through life now... I don't care how much good advice I RECIEVE those horrible memories are going to kick in now and then. So I pray Lord give me enough sense to know the difference between things i can change and things i can not change. and the courage and the strength to do something about those i can...I had a wonderful life, like a fairy tale of dreams come true. it just didn't have a everafter i was hoping for. I wanted to grow old with my wife, I tried to be a husband, best friend, to comfort and protect...lord knows I stood up for her knowing she was wrong...I encouraged her to be more, I loved her deeper than I ever thought love could go... I prefer to remember the good times, I have to hang on to the things that are positive in life. No I don't want my ex wife back... she chose her path in life. I'm kinda set in mine, in all reality we are going in different directions, I wish her the best, So when you read my journals remember i am leting off steam, steam is a powerful energy. un vented it can explode and we all know explosions are dangerous. I've gone through the sucicidal (how ever ya spell it) storm in my life, I came out the other side shaken but not stirred... I once called my self Superman... even more I was bent on proveing it... aint that a roit... carried over six hundred pounds once. Yepp I did some pretty stupid things lol...had a wonderful time doing them. I was happy, married, faithful... it was so easy to say no. Never could understand how a person could put their children years of investment in a marriage on the line for just a few minutes of sex... with someone different... Funny little thing happen to me out in California, seems seven ladies took a bet to see who could get me to be unfaithful to my wife first...hehehe, and I thougth it was cause I was so darn good looking ... what a laugh...I got to admit it was mighty tempting. glad I was steadfast and true to myself and my ex... Darn good feeling knowing you did the right thing... oh heck here I am braggin on myself...I have strong feeling about life, love, children, religion, and this wonderful country we live in America... I don't always know how to express those feeling or ideas... I only know life is worth the effort...we shouldn't be afraid of it but sometimes life is frightening... your friend Russ