I am Man, hear me Roar....cough choke sputter. Well so I aint so manly. No abs, but heared what I got called love handles. lol Yeah right. Extra luggage, spare semi-truck tire lol. I'm trying to laugh at my old stupid self. I'm going through some changes lately. I don't even know how to describe it. Like the fox and the grapes. I thought my ex taught me how to live without sex. I don't understand all these new emotional needs, or wants that are surfacing as I get better. Yeah I'm doing better heath wise. Mentally I'm a mess. My own malely instinct always taught me that most men think with their penis. O.K. I said it. Wow, Gets to where I hate watching T.V. cause all the what I call soft porn adds. Hell yeah I think the women are beautiful. But gee face it some things are best left to the imagination. Old fat fart like my self don't need to be reminded daily of what he aint gonna get. Yeah I know it aint just men, I'm just whinin from a male point of view. Sometimes it seems to me the human race wants to experiment and see just how far we can go before we really screw something up. I was gonna say I'm loosing my gripp.... I just can't handle it...I got a terrible sense of humor. More like a sense of Homer Duh!... I didn't mean to be offense this moaning. i really don't know why I got sex on the mind lately. Guess I just miss being married. Seven years is a long time to be alone. I don't have time to be alone. Got a kid to raise. With all these disabilities, I feel like I'm failing him miserably. He's a great kid. Boy wonder if the new meds I taking is messin with my head. It's a narc, mixed with tyrnol... Aint helping much as far as I can see. Still don't sleep more than an hour or two at a time. think I'll go to my room now and have a good cry. best wishes Russ