I haven't updated in awhile. I just can't seem to grasp the concept that I've been going through this for years. The other night I went through an old drawer of letters I had written to my boyfriend Bobby, whom I'm still with now. :) I was maybe 17 and I had just found out what my pain was. I was so strong about it, my outlook was so positive. I guess with years of pain, it seems to fade away. I'm trying and I know I'm making progress. But I was once at the top of the ladder and now I'm trying to find my way back up. Two completely different things. For Bobby to stick by my side through all of this says a lot about him. And reading those letters from what feels like forever ago, reminds me of all the reasons why I love him. I'm difficult, stubborn, irrational.. But I'm loving, caring, crazy, and generous. And I'd like to keep the second part of me in check. I know its not easy to watch someone you love to feel an invisible pain and I feel so lucky to have someone that understands and has never once doubted what I'm feeling. No one will ever compare. And as far as the pain goes, I'm pretty sure it has made us closer.