My daughter came to me a few months ago and said her husband had cheated on her again..yes, again. For 5 weeks I supported her, listened to her, felt her pain and never once called her husband names. I supported her belief he was a narcissistic and severely wounded. I did not say "I told you so or anything to that nature." In five weeks she was divorced. A few weeks later she started seeing him again and a few weeks ago they re-married. When she started seeing him again, I got a phone call from her saying via her counsellor and her (church counsellor; she's also a born again Christian) it would be best if she had no contact with me. I said "via phone, text, e-mail also" and she said "yes." I said "what about your hair as I had done her hair every 5 weeks" and she said "we'll see." There has been no contact except a text on my birthday saying "Happy birthday Mom. Love you! xoxox" I find it odd she called me Mom as my kids have always called me Mama. I did not respond as I am honouring her wishes of no contact/communication.
Anyway, I have had a myriad of feelings and I honor them every morning. I think of the millions of times I have shared with other's "there's ALWAYS A BIGGER PICTURE; they're watching us; we must accept where we are, what can I learn from this, etc."
When it is this close to my heart it is almost too much to bear. I have been surrendering this constantly and something I have noticed I do when I think of my daughter is I say "I bless you on your journey honey." That is Spirit led as I did not think of that on my own. This morning I realized how very much I (I) I am trying to figure it out in my head (not coming from my heart) I am coming from my on woundedness; I'm too close to it. I really feel I turned it over to the Universe, and said "YOU make the decisions, YOU show me what to do, YOU give me the answers I am seeking." I felt some relief. I am going to start doing this every day. "YOU take my co-ness from me; YOU help me to find peace and love when my heart if filled with judgment! "YOU take me home to this place of peace."
Today that's where it is. Today I will give myself permission to appreciate the feeling of the deep love I have for my daughter. Today I will give myself to feel all my feelings. Today I will give myself permission to stand by my convictions/faith that there is a "bigger picture!'
Not going to re-read...if there are grammar errors Rich, it's ok with me! :-)
xo
Anyway, I have had a myriad of feelings and I honor them every morning. I think of the millions of times I have shared with other's "there's ALWAYS A BIGGER PICTURE; they're watching us; we must accept where we are, what can I learn from this, etc."
When it is this close to my heart it is almost too much to bear. I have been surrendering this constantly and something I have noticed I do when I think of my daughter is I say "I bless you on your journey honey." That is Spirit led as I did not think of that on my own. This morning I realized how very much I (I) I am trying to figure it out in my head (not coming from my heart) I am coming from my on woundedness; I'm too close to it. I really feel I turned it over to the Universe, and said "YOU make the decisions, YOU show me what to do, YOU give me the answers I am seeking." I felt some relief. I am going to start doing this every day. "YOU take my co-ness from me; YOU help me to find peace and love when my heart if filled with judgment! "YOU take me home to this place of peace."
Today that's where it is. Today I will give myself permission to appreciate the feeling of the deep love I have for my daughter. Today I will give myself to feel all my feelings. Today I will give myself permission to stand by my convictions/faith that there is a "bigger picture!'
Not going to re-read...if there are grammar errors Rich, it's ok with me! :-)
xo
Replies
and me....I love to write totally free style on DS. ..it\'s a great form of expression to be free of capital letters and rules about grammar etc...:))))) I honestly feel your pain...it\'s your daughter...and this will hurt. The flip side is; how lucky is she to have a mother who respects her wishes and steps back and gives her the time she needs? I think you are wonderful to do this. My mother certainly wouldn\'t, she would be furious. Perhaps you could light a candle each evening and say a heart warming prayer for her and within will her to come back when she is ready? Send some good feelings to her and love via a spiritual route. Maybe you could write a short note to her each day, full of happy news you\'d like to share with her, but pop them in a box so that one day you can give her them all? Just ideas...I will light a candle tonight and send best thoughts your way. Love you Vicki...she will come back when she is ready xxxx
Thinking of you.
xx
# within should be \'will\'
Rosie: I light a candle every morning for my children before I enter my prayer time. But, oh how I love the idea of writing her a little note every day! I am going to do that starting tomorrow! Love the idea; thanks! xo
SuzA66: Thank-you!
SuzA66: Thank-you!
But...there were none!
Letting go is tough, as you know; \"don\'t take it personally\" (according to Don Miguel Ruiz). Who knows what the future will bring? Don\'t waste any energy making assumptions according to what has happened or is happening; nothing is permanent. [I\'m just now beginning to accept that myself!]
Big Hug,
Rich
I believe nothing is permanent Rich! There\'s a story about the Buddha crying so deeply when his son died and one of his student\'s asked \"why to you cry teacher; you have taught us e\'thing in life is an illusion.\" The Buddha replied \"Yes, that is true, but this is the biggest illusion of all!\"
Although I know all these things intellectually and believe them to be true for me, my heart still hurts. Rich: I am learning at a deeper leveI NOT to make any assumptions and working on acceptance and staying in the moment. xo
The human experience is filled with a wide range if emotions about that experience. Accepting all those emotions as valid and personal makes you the great Lady & teacher that you are. Sometimes being a soul who is having a human experience hurts; and that\'s what makes it different from other forms if experience. Grieving is the hurt emotion of believing you have lost something you love and value. I know you are well and attuned to this. It\'s just my own codependency that wants to help you relieve (avoid) your pain. For me to do anything else would not be me.
XO
My thoughts are with you.
love & hugs
rick
Rich: Thank-you and you made me lol when you spoke of your own co-ness..sometimes we just can\'t help ourselves can we? :-)
arbe: Thank-you!
Wow! Such wonderful insight here from everybody! I completely agree that letting go with love and acceptance makes you an exceptional mother. The idea of writing little notes is a really nice idea. I have been thinking about you and sending you positive thoughts and prayers. Like Rich, the CO in me wants to help you out of your pain. All any of us can do is walk along side you as you go through your pain. Big hugs and little prayers.