It's been two and a half months since my last post and not much has changed. Really nothing has changed at all. I'm still drinking every day, usually two 40s of Steel Reserve.About a month ago I went to an AA meeting. It was okay but honestly most of the people looked nothing like me but whether they look like me or not I know they are going through the same hell as me. One guy reached out to me after the meeting and gave me his number to call him if I needed to. The reason I never went back was because I don't want my wife to know and I have no time by myself where I could make a meeting. When my wife is not home I am home with the kids.Finances are really stressing me out right now too. I ran my credit card bills way up and my wife doesn't know about that either and it all feels like it is coming to a head and I am so stressed out. I know the drinking is the main cause of my problems but it is the only thing that relieves my stress. Such a great Catch 22.I found an old journasl I was writing in about 6 years ago where I was saying I wanted to quit drinking and all that. I hope I can look back on this journal six years from now and know I actually did quit this time, not just talk about it.