I've joined this community today because I was looking for a grief group session in my neighborhood but could not find one that met outside of my work time.  My grief is getting worse insead of better as time goes on.  Back in May (on  my wedding anniversary) my father, after being hospitalized for nearly 3 months, passed away after the hospital put him through a multitude of horrors.  I believe they ultimately killed him before his time due to their carelessness and one medical problem on top of another. A few days before my father passed away, a cousin of mine in her mid 40's passed away and a week after my father's funeral, another cousin, also in her 40's, passed away from a massive coronary and a stroke. As if this was not enough, during the time my father was in the hospital, my baby brother (49 years old) collapsed in my fathers hospital room and was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer and had surgery the following day.  He died 3 and a half months later, on July 30, 2009.  I watched him slowly wither away. I miss my father and brother so much, but also find myself feeling scared that I could be next.  I feel physically ill, I hurt every where and I am unable to sleep much.  Anyway, as I said, I thought I was supposed to start feeling better as time went on, but this does not appear to be what is happening at least so far for me. I think I could feel better if I could cry more, but I think I'm supposed to be at the stage where I should have moved on by now, at least in every one else's eyes. I've always had to be so strong and well I just don't feel very strong right now.