Hey there. I hope everyone is doing better than me. I am soo frustrated right now with my computer! It's so slow and no matter what I try to do to make it better, I always seem to screw it up. I really need a computer savvy person to come over but I don't know any! Arggg! Now some script error is coming up when my fiance tries to check his e-mail. He wants me to fix it but I don't know what the heck it is and I've tried for hours and I think I once again screwed it up more. He's frustrated, I'm frustrated, and now we're both sleep deprived because this kept us up late. I swear, can't life be simpler??? Sometimes I wish I lived in Little House on the Prairie days. My father always told me I belong there. **Weight mentioned**I don't know what my eating disorder is doing except trying to take me over. I did so well for so long with the pregnancy and breastfeeding. Now I'm just at a loss and I don't understand it. I lost the few pounds I tried so hard to gain so I'm back to 113 lbs. - pre-pregnancy weight which I know is underweight for 5'7". My lowest was 98lbs. so I think this is okay but I know it's not. It's hard to accept and not rationalize... "Well, I'm so much better than I was!" I'm restricting which of course leads to binging and purging. I can't even control myself in the evening when my fiance is home. So then I'm even more irritable. And get this - some of my jeans are tight on me! Either they shrunk over time or I am really losing my mind. I don't know what's real and what's not. I tried to seek out a nutritionist but have had no luck finding one yet. I think I know everything there is to know about nutrition but I really need someone else's guidance to follow right now. This doesn't work anymore!! My back hurts and my face looks so old! I just want to curl up in a ball and cry and cry................
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Little House on the Prairie sounds nice. I could do that.
I am sorry you are going through some setbacks with the ED. It\'s an uphill battle with a lot of falling back downhill, I imagine.
But it is good that you are looking for a nutritionist to help you....and the fact that you can recognize the patterns and the behaviors and try to fix them is a really good start.
You\'ll get there...
Throw the jeans out and go get some more without batting an eye.
I hope things get better soon...
I know exactly what you mean about wishing we could return to a simpler time. That\'s why I\'m trying so hard to find a place in the country
SIGH! I am sorry you are having such a bad ED day. Maybe you just need to take some time away from the dern computer! Sounds like it\'s driving you over the edge and it\'s not worth it. Can you take some time to get out in nature for a while?? You know. Go to a nice park somewhere and pretend you are out sitting by that sweet little cabin with Paw and the Kids???? IMO nature is SO important to keeping us helathy and we have gotten so far away from it.
As for the nutrition thing??? Well I don\'t think it has to be so hard. Can you get some protein shakes or something like that? They are pretty well balanced and fairly easy to get down. also can\'t go wrong with lean protein and veggies! GOOD LUCK! You can do this!
I always wanted to live on Little House on the Prairie where no one had a cell phone or a computer and no one got drunk, restricted, purged, or abused their kids. I know this sounds like corny AA stuff but try to keep things simple and just put one foot in front of the other. There has to be a good nutritionist out there somewhere for you. XOXO