Today I went through some clothes, putting away summer stuff and taking out fall/winter clothes.  I found a big container of clothes that I haven't worn in like 8 years.  I don't know what I was holding onto this stuff for, in case I ever become anorexic again?  My God, I tried on a ton of clothes that were sooo small!  I really can't believe I ever used to fit in them.  And I had already thrown out a lot of those clothes years ago.  What's good is that I don't have a desire whatsoever to go back to that.  I always had reservations but now I don't. I still have a little ways to go.  I realize that as a 36 year old mother, I should not be weighing what I weighed in highschool, which is what I weigh now, even less.  So I'm going to keep trying to not purge and put on those few extra pounds I've been saying I want to put on and just try to accept it.  So far so good, these past few days have been purge free.  I'm also cutting down on smoking.  Not quitting, but being much more conscious of it and trying to "put off" smoking.  I led the big book meeting again last night, second time.  It's going well.  I'm so glad to be sober and working on cleaning up the rest of my life so that my little shmeebee can grow up in a healthy household.  So far she's very happy and I think we'll be just fine.  Good night.