My Life
I have decided to talk a little about myself. So that you will know me
a little bit better. I know what I am going to write might be a shock
to some of you,but I think it will be okay anyway. And I am sure I will
miss a lot in writing this. I fell in love with my first husband when I was
in the 6th grade,and I never dated anyone but him. Don't get me wrong,
I was 14 when I was allowed to go to a school dance,and that was the
first time that I was able to really be close to him. I brought him over to
meet my parents, who looked at him and said "nice to meet you,and never
come back here again". My husband who was my boyfriend then was a
hippie, however I never saw him like that. The movie Romeo and Juliet had
just come out, so of course we felt that this was our lives,that our parents
wouldn't let us see each other, so it made our love to be together even
more so .I had a short haired guy that was our friend come by and pick me up for dates, so my parents wouldn't know I was still dating Paul the guy I loved. I got pregnant at the age of 15 years old. I thought my parents were going to kill me,but instead they gave me choices. I could live with them and have the baby,have a abortion, put the baby up for adoption, or marry Paul. Well of course
marrying Paul was what I wanted. The first night we were married, Paul asked me
how many guys I had been to bed with,and he was the only one,and he proceeded to tell me about how many of my friends he had gone to bed with.
It was too late to change anything, however I still loved him more than anything.
I went into labor 2 weeks after I made 16 years old,and we couldn't find Paul
anywhere to come to the hospital,when someone finally found him, he was so
messed up on acid. He feel asleep in our van,and didn't make it to our son being born. After we came home from the hospital, he started not coming home at night,
and said he was sleeping with the lady upstairs where we lived. He tried to get me to over dose on aspirin,and I wouldn't. I called my parents and they came and picked Jason (my son) and I up to live with them. I was there 2 days before Paul came and cried that he loved me and wanted me back,so I wanted to go back with
him. My parents said if I went back with him, they were done with me. I went back
with him, and within a week he had left me for another girl. I had a nervous breakdown, and I called my mom, and they came and picked me and Jason up. I was taken to the hospital, I had a breakdown, I was 17 at that time. I stayed with
my parents for about a month,and went back with my husband. We were really changing our lives now. He was really into drugs heavy, I wasn't into the drugs,
but I had changed to be living my life pretty much like him and most of our friends.We were called hippies. We stayed together until I was 21 years old.
I divorced him. I started working as a Painter in the Industrial Plants here. I loved it,and was making good money. I was starting my life over ,so I could buy new
furniture,etc. for Jason and I , so we could get our own place. I lived with my parents until I had saved enough money to take care of us. When Jason was
6 years old, we moved into our own place. I started dating,and in a couple of years found a guy that I thought it would work out with us. I really cared about him,but I wasn't really in love with him like I had been before with Paul. We weren't married for 2 weeks, before he started beating me. He put me in the hospital several times from the beatings. We stayed together 6 months,and Jason and I left him. He never hurt Jason, just me. Jason and I got our own apartment,and he ( Lance was his name) broke in when Jason wasn't there and kidnapped me,he beat me,and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere. Someone passing by saw me ,and took me to a hospital. I was too scarred to press charges, so I never did.
A few years later I met another guy that I really cared about,and eventually fell in love with him. Jason and I loved him. He had 2 children from another marriage. They were 6 months and 1 1/2 years old. Which to this day still love them so much. And still am in contact with them. We were married for 23 years when my husband went through mid life crisis.Out of the blue, he left me for a 24 year old girl,that had 3 children under the age of 5 years old. He went to where I worked and threatened my bosses,and I was fired. I had worked there for 24 years . I lost
my job,my husband,my house in one month. I didn't think I would make it. I really didn't even want to. I tried committing suicide,and of course I made it. After that,
my husband wanted to get back with me, not because of me,it was because his
young girlfriend decided she was a lesbian. We didn't get back.
I did something I had never done, I went online to meet a friend,and I met Kenny
he brought more happiness in my life in 7 years than I had been in my whole life.
He showed me what real love was. I had never been this happy in my whole life. I just looked forward to waking up every morning to this wonderful man. He was a Chef,and he cooked for me and my family all the time. Up until Kenny got really sick he had hair down to the middle of his back,and my family accepted him,and understood that even though we saw things in a different way than them, that we
both have big hearts,and love others in a way that a lot of people can't share there love like we can.
Bottom line is that my family and our friends always thought of me to be a hippie,
that I might have my ways a little bit different than some,but I don't walk around giving the peace sign,etc. I just love people, and I thank God for giving me the heart to love others and be there for them. Without that , I wouldn't have you to be here for me. I know this journal is so weird to most of you. I just wanted to let you know a little about me. There is so much I haven't written of course. But I was blessed with a wonderful son,and I couldn't have asked for better parents. True Christians.
I hope that you will not think any less of me, I am a really good person. I have had a really hard life,and what I have written is not even the beginning of what I have been through,but I brought most of it on to myself. And just want to move on with my new friends here to help me to find my way through this really hard journey without Kenny.
Bottom line is, that I have been married 4 times. My first my son's dad, I was too young to be married,after I divorced him, iwent out with Hank Williams Jr. twice,and I posed for Harley Davidson in a bikini, which were two of my hi lities at the time for me.2nd was very abusive,between 2nd and 3rd I was engaged 7 times that I backed out of, I got scarred to remarry. 3rd left me for a younger girl (mid life crisis), and 4th, the true love of my life, I lost to bladder cancer.
Hugs,
Deanna
a little bit better. I know what I am going to write might be a shock
to some of you,but I think it will be okay anyway. And I am sure I will
miss a lot in writing this. I fell in love with my first husband when I was
in the 6th grade,and I never dated anyone but him. Don't get me wrong,
I was 14 when I was allowed to go to a school dance,and that was the
first time that I was able to really be close to him. I brought him over to
meet my parents, who looked at him and said "nice to meet you,and never
come back here again". My husband who was my boyfriend then was a
hippie, however I never saw him like that. The movie Romeo and Juliet had
just come out, so of course we felt that this was our lives,that our parents
wouldn't let us see each other, so it made our love to be together even
more so .I had a short haired guy that was our friend come by and pick me up for dates, so my parents wouldn't know I was still dating Paul the guy I loved. I got pregnant at the age of 15 years old. I thought my parents were going to kill me,but instead they gave me choices. I could live with them and have the baby,have a abortion, put the baby up for adoption, or marry Paul. Well of course
marrying Paul was what I wanted. The first night we were married, Paul asked me
how many guys I had been to bed with,and he was the only one,and he proceeded to tell me about how many of my friends he had gone to bed with.
It was too late to change anything, however I still loved him more than anything.
I went into labor 2 weeks after I made 16 years old,and we couldn't find Paul
anywhere to come to the hospital,when someone finally found him, he was so
messed up on acid. He feel asleep in our van,and didn't make it to our son being born. After we came home from the hospital, he started not coming home at night,
and said he was sleeping with the lady upstairs where we lived. He tried to get me to over dose on aspirin,and I wouldn't. I called my parents and they came and picked Jason (my son) and I up to live with them. I was there 2 days before Paul came and cried that he loved me and wanted me back,so I wanted to go back with
him. My parents said if I went back with him, they were done with me. I went back
with him, and within a week he had left me for another girl. I had a nervous breakdown, and I called my mom, and they came and picked me and Jason up. I was taken to the hospital, I had a breakdown, I was 17 at that time. I stayed with
my parents for about a month,and went back with my husband. We were really changing our lives now. He was really into drugs heavy, I wasn't into the drugs,
but I had changed to be living my life pretty much like him and most of our friends.We were called hippies. We stayed together until I was 21 years old.
I divorced him. I started working as a Painter in the Industrial Plants here. I loved it,and was making good money. I was starting my life over ,so I could buy new
furniture,etc. for Jason and I , so we could get our own place. I lived with my parents until I had saved enough money to take care of us. When Jason was
6 years old, we moved into our own place. I started dating,and in a couple of years found a guy that I thought it would work out with us. I really cared about him,but I wasn't really in love with him like I had been before with Paul. We weren't married for 2 weeks, before he started beating me. He put me in the hospital several times from the beatings. We stayed together 6 months,and Jason and I left him. He never hurt Jason, just me. Jason and I got our own apartment,and he ( Lance was his name) broke in when Jason wasn't there and kidnapped me,he beat me,and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere. Someone passing by saw me ,and took me to a hospital. I was too scarred to press charges, so I never did.
A few years later I met another guy that I really cared about,and eventually fell in love with him. Jason and I loved him. He had 2 children from another marriage. They were 6 months and 1 1/2 years old. Which to this day still love them so much. And still am in contact with them. We were married for 23 years when my husband went through mid life crisis.Out of the blue, he left me for a 24 year old girl,that had 3 children under the age of 5 years old. He went to where I worked and threatened my bosses,and I was fired. I had worked there for 24 years . I lost
my job,my husband,my house in one month. I didn't think I would make it. I really didn't even want to. I tried committing suicide,and of course I made it. After that,
my husband wanted to get back with me, not because of me,it was because his
young girlfriend decided she was a lesbian. We didn't get back.
I did something I had never done, I went online to meet a friend,and I met Kenny
he brought more happiness in my life in 7 years than I had been in my whole life.
He showed me what real love was. I had never been this happy in my whole life. I just looked forward to waking up every morning to this wonderful man. He was a Chef,and he cooked for me and my family all the time. Up until Kenny got really sick he had hair down to the middle of his back,and my family accepted him,and understood that even though we saw things in a different way than them, that we
both have big hearts,and love others in a way that a lot of people can't share there love like we can.
Bottom line is that my family and our friends always thought of me to be a hippie,
that I might have my ways a little bit different than some,but I don't walk around giving the peace sign,etc. I just love people, and I thank God for giving me the heart to love others and be there for them. Without that , I wouldn't have you to be here for me. I know this journal is so weird to most of you. I just wanted to let you know a little about me. There is so much I haven't written of course. But I was blessed with a wonderful son,and I couldn't have asked for better parents. True Christians.
I hope that you will not think any less of me, I am a really good person. I have had a really hard life,and what I have written is not even the beginning of what I have been through,but I brought most of it on to myself. And just want to move on with my new friends here to help me to find my way through this really hard journey without Kenny.
Bottom line is, that I have been married 4 times. My first my son's dad, I was too young to be married,after I divorced him, iwent out with Hank Williams Jr. twice,and I posed for Harley Davidson in a bikini, which were two of my hi lities at the time for me.2nd was very abusive,between 2nd and 3rd I was engaged 7 times that I backed out of, I got scarred to remarry. 3rd left me for a younger girl (mid life crisis), and 4th, the true love of my life, I lost to bladder cancer.
Hugs,
Deanna
Replies
Enter a comment here
DeeDee, you know you are one of the sweetest, most caring person I\'ve ever met- I admire you even more for telling your life story, it shows that you never gave up looking for true love, and I\'m glad you found it with Kenny. I\'m sorry you had a hard life you certainly didn\'t deserve any of it, it\'s pretty amazing the things we can survive.
We\'ll talk on Wed.
Love you,
Christine
Thanks Christine, I don\'t know if everyone will see it like that. But I
appreciate your friendship,and look forward to talking with you Wed.
Love you too,
DeeDee
Deanne,
Wow, that was a very heart-wrenching account of some of your life and what you have been through. It takes lots of courage to share this with your DS family and I am glad that you did.....thanks. I hope in writing it out it helps you start to heal.
First let me tell you that I do not think any less of you and probably more if that is possible....you have been through so much and yet still never gave up and found the TRUE LOVE of your life when you found Kenny.
Second...you DID NOT bring this on yourself....you may have made some bad choices in life ....but haven\'t we all....you are a very giving person and after all you have been through you are still giving to so many people on this board, including me
Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you some peace and healing in the days ahead.............hugs (((HUGS)))
Dear Sweet Deanna,
My heart is breaking to see the pain and abuse you have suffered. I don\'t know how you kept going, but you came out a triumphant survivor!! And then you were rewarded with the prize--Kenny . Yes, you had a very hard life and in all cases it was because you gave your precious loving heart to them and they stomped on it. You are a remarkable lady.
Love,
Wanda
Deanna,
Life is life---all kinds of things happen in life and you show love, caring, kindness at every turn. I am so glad you had a true loving relationship with Kenny---that love never dies. You are a treasure. Thank you for sharing yourself with your friends.
With love and hugs,
Sallie
No ones life is perfect. We all do things that we wish we\'d done differently. You are a true survivor.
Julia
xx
It\'s amazing what people do and have to do when they are born into a world helplessly.
Your love has sustained you. You are to be congratulated for being a survivor and you have quite a story to tell. Thanks for sharing...
Deanna, Another night where I am up late. My heart breaks for the abuse and tough times you have endured but the important part is that you survived!! It is so wonderful that you kept looking and found your soulmate and true love - Kenny. From the way you describe Kenny, he must have been such a devoted and loving husband to you. He saw the real you which is sweet and so caring. I admire your strength in sharing your story. I did not meet my true love until I was almost 38 years old but I had a few bad relationships and hardships along the way. As I said earlier in one of my notes, I wish I was closer so I could knock on your door and give you a hug. Stephanie
Why in the world would you ever think we would judge you? You went thru what you went thru in order to get to where you are now & it sounds like you\'re in a very good place, despite the problems of your past.
Nothing can ever be as hard for you anymore because of the hell you went thru & as far as I\'m concerned, you came out shining.
I congratulate you.
All my love ~ kate
Oh Sparkie ! I just adore you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes..through and through,totally adore you and then to have you write this and worry? Oh no silly girl..don\'t you worry for one tiny second! If anything it makes me love you even more if that is even possible? The fact that you trusted us enough to open your life\'s story up to us has me sitting hear with tears and a smile I am so honored. Honored to be your friend, honored to have you give me your life\'s story even though it was difficult to trust enough to do it.
We all have hadlives before coming to DS Sparkie..we all have had joys and hurts, we all have done things we may find pride in and things we may have regrets in, we all have sought \"love\" and not always found what we sought growing up.Listen Sparkie..we are all human and living life the best we can..we are a family of struggling human beings having gone through lives before DS and as we go forward hand in hand now..we hold each other up and it doesn\'t matter one iota where any of us has been prior to this day..we travel this road together now. I am so sorry you have had to go through so much Sparkie, and am so glad you finally found a good man in Kenny.. I am also so very sorry it ever had to come to a close(well not really a close because I truly believe when a love bond is strong in life it does not die in death but continues on, therefore he is with you even now).It is also my belief that even though we suffer in life in various ways these are the things that make us be able to understand others in pain and though you have suffered much along your path in the past..you are the gentle loving sweetheart you are who has compassion and desire to help others in big part BECAUSE of all you have gone through.You understand love..you searched for it and know what it is to not have it as well as have it.You are a very special woman and I knew that the moment we met. I told you that back then.I sensed it..and I was NOT wrong!
Keep being you...never lose that beautiful spirit within you..you are so wonderful and I love you very much Sparkie!
from Pearly Sue
Deanna, you are a true survivor. I don\'t think any less of you, I think you are one strong person to have been through all you have in your life. My husband and I were hippies too, but never into the drugs. Your family must be very proud of you.
HUgs,
Paula
[tips hat] Ma\'am, my respects.
Deanna, I could only have even MORE respct for you after reading this, and thinking how you have completely bared you soul to us your FRIENDS here at DS. that took alot and i know it did.
You my dear are a beautiful soul and a true survivor. Jason is lucky young man to have a mom who loves him so very nuch with her whole heart. I, like you, waited a very long time for the love of my life and spent as much time with Greg as you did with kenny. And I know you agree...what went before was MORE THAN WORTH what we got in the end. Ended much too soon, but to KNOW LOVE? It is worth EVERYTHING. and so ARE YOU my dear friend.
I LOVE YOU
and YOUR ARE QUAITE A WOMAN AND SUCH A STRONG SURVIVOR. YOU ALWAYS WILL BE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UviQdej0Qlw&feature=related
DeeDee,
We all have walked different paths, but is it those paths that we have walked that have made us the people that we are today. I have been through enough to write a book too. Thank God you found the one that completed you too. I dare say that you are the kind loving giving person that you are because of all that you have lived through and your sharing with us makes me so so proud of you and the person that you are. Thank you for trusting us enough to share. Now because I am the person that I am today and am no longer the person that I was 30 years ago...I hope you too can know that though you are changed by all that you have been through...you are NOT the same person that you were 30 years ago.
Your courage is simply amazing and though I am sad that you also lost the love of your life, I am glad you are here with us...We so all need each other!!
hugs...
-Diana