My Life
I have decided to talk a little about myself. So that you will know me
a little bit better. I know what I am going to write might be a shock
to some of you,but I think it will be okay anyway. And I am sure I will
miss a lot in writing this. I fell in love with my first husband when I was
in the 6th grade,and I never dated anyone but him. Don't get me wrong,
I was 14 when I was allowed to go to a school dance,and that was the
first time that I was able to really be close to him. I brought him over to
meet my parents, who looked at him and said "nice to meet you,and never
come back here again". My husband who was my boyfriend then was a
hippie, however I never saw him like that. The movie Romeo and Juliet had
just come out, so of course we felt that this was our lives,that our parents
wouldn't let us see each other, so it made our love to be together even
more so .I had a short haired guy that was our friend come by and pick me up for dates, so my parents wouldn't know I was still dating Paul the guy I loved. I got pregnant at the age of 15 years old. I thought my parents were going to kill me,but instead they gave me choices. I could live with them and have the baby,have a abortion, put the baby up for adoption, or marry Paul. Well of course
marrying Paul was what I wanted. The first night we were married, Paul asked me
how many guys I had been to bed with,and he was the only one,and he proceeded to tell me about how many of my friends he had gone to bed with.
It was too late to change anything, however I still loved him more than anything.
I went into labor 2 weeks after I made 16 years old,and we couldn't find Paul
anywhere to come to the hospital,when someone finally found him, he was so
messed up on acid. He feel asleep in our van,and didn't make it to our son being born. After we came home from the hospital, he started not coming home at night,
and said he was sleeping with the lady upstairs where we lived. He tried to get me to over dose on aspirin,and I wouldn't. I called my parents and they came and picked Jason (my son) and I up to live with them. I was there 2 days before Paul came and cried that he loved me and wanted me back,so I wanted to go back with
him. My parents said if I went back with him, they were done with me. I went back
with him, and within a week he had left me for another girl. I had a nervous breakdown, and I called my mom, and they came and picked me and Jason up. I was taken to the hospital, I had a breakdown, I was 17 at that time. I stayed with
my parents for about a month,and went back with my husband. We were really changing our lives now. He was really into drugs heavy, I wasn't into the drugs,
but I had changed to be living my life pretty much like him and most of our friends.We were called hippies. We stayed together until I was 21 years old.
I divorced him. I started working as a Painter in the Industrial Plants here. I loved it,and was making good money. I was starting my life over ,so I could buy new
furniture,etc. for Jason and I , so we could get our own place. I lived with my parents until I had saved enough money to take care of us. When Jason was
6 years old, we moved into our own place. I started dating,and in a couple of years found a guy that I thought it would work out with us. I really cared about him,but I wasn't really in love with him like I had been before with Paul. We weren't married for 2 weeks, before he started beating me. He put me in the hospital several times from the beatings. We stayed together 6 months,and Jason and I left him. He never hurt Jason, just me. Jason and I got our own apartment,and he ( Lance was his name) broke in when Jason wasn't there and kidnapped me,he beat me,and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere. Someone passing by saw me ,and took me to a hospital. I was too scarred to press charges, so I never did.
A few years later I met another guy that I really cared about,and eventually fell in love with him. Jason and I loved him. He had 2 children from another marriage. They were 6 months and 1 1/2 years old. Which to this day still love them so much. And still am in contact with them. We were married for 23 years when my husband went through mid life crisis.Out of the blue, he left me for a 24 year old girl,that had 3 children under the age of 5 years old. He went to where I worked and threatened my bosses,and I was fired. I had worked there for 24 years . I lost
my job,my husband,my house in one month. I didn't think I would make it. I really didn't even want to. I tried committing suicide,and of course I made it. After that,
my husband wanted to get back with me, not because of me,it was because his
young girlfriend decided she was a lesbian. We didn't get back.
I did something I had never done, I went online to meet a friend,and I met Kenny
he brought more happiness in my life in 7 years than I had been in my whole life.
He showed me what real love was. I had never been this happy in my whole life. I just looked forward to waking up every morning to this wonderful man. He was a Chef,and he cooked for me and my family all the time. Up until Kenny got really sick he had hair down to the middle of his back,and my family accepted him,and understood that even though we saw things in a different way than them, that we
both have big hearts,and love others in a way that a lot of people can't share there love like we can.
Bottom line is that my family and our friends always thought of me to be a hippie,
that I might have my ways a little bit different than some,but I don't walk around giving the peace sign,etc. I just love people, and I thank God for giving me the heart to love others and be there for them. Without that , I wouldn't have you to be here for me. I know this journal is so weird to most of you. I just wanted to let you know a little about me. There is so much I haven't written of course. But I was blessed with a wonderful son,and I couldn't have asked for better parents. True Christians.
I hope that you will not think any less of me, I am a really good person. I have had a really hard life,and what I have written is not even the beginning of what I have been through,but I brought most of it on to myself. And just want to move on with my new friends here to help me to find my way through this really hard journey without Kenny.
Bottom line is, that I have been married 4 times. My first my son's dad, I was too young to be married,after I divorced him, iwent out with Hank Williams Jr. twice,and I posed for Harley Davidson in a bikini, which were two of my hi lities at the time for me.2nd was very abusive,between 2nd and 3rd I was engaged 7 times that I backed out of, I got scarred to remarry. 3rd left me for a younger girl (mid life crisis), and 4th, the true love of my life, I lost to bladder cancer.
Hugs,
Deanna
a little bit better. I know what I am going to write might be a shock
to some of you,but I think it will be okay anyway. And I am sure I will
miss a lot in writing this. I fell in love with my first husband when I was
in the 6th grade,and I never dated anyone but him. Don't get me wrong,
I was 14 when I was allowed to go to a school dance,and that was the
first time that I was able to really be close to him. I brought him over to
meet my parents, who looked at him and said "nice to meet you,and never
come back here again". My husband who was my boyfriend then was a
hippie, however I never saw him like that. The movie Romeo and Juliet had
just come out, so of course we felt that this was our lives,that our parents
wouldn't let us see each other, so it made our love to be together even
more so .I had a short haired guy that was our friend come by and pick me up for dates, so my parents wouldn't know I was still dating Paul the guy I loved. I got pregnant at the age of 15 years old. I thought my parents were going to kill me,but instead they gave me choices. I could live with them and have the baby,have a abortion, put the baby up for adoption, or marry Paul. Well of course
marrying Paul was what I wanted. The first night we were married, Paul asked me
how many guys I had been to bed with,and he was the only one,and he proceeded to tell me about how many of my friends he had gone to bed with.
It was too late to change anything, however I still loved him more than anything.
I went into labor 2 weeks after I made 16 years old,and we couldn't find Paul
anywhere to come to the hospital,when someone finally found him, he was so
messed up on acid. He feel asleep in our van,and didn't make it to our son being born. After we came home from the hospital, he started not coming home at night,
and said he was sleeping with the lady upstairs where we lived. He tried to get me to over dose on aspirin,and I wouldn't. I called my parents and they came and picked Jason (my son) and I up to live with them. I was there 2 days before Paul came and cried that he loved me and wanted me back,so I wanted to go back with
him. My parents said if I went back with him, they were done with me. I went back
with him, and within a week he had left me for another girl. I had a nervous breakdown, and I called my mom, and they came and picked me and Jason up. I was taken to the hospital, I had a breakdown, I was 17 at that time. I stayed with
my parents for about a month,and went back with my husband. We were really changing our lives now. He was really into drugs heavy, I wasn't into the drugs,
but I had changed to be living my life pretty much like him and most of our friends.We were called hippies. We stayed together until I was 21 years old.
I divorced him. I started working as a Painter in the Industrial Plants here. I loved it,and was making good money. I was starting my life over ,so I could buy new
furniture,etc. for Jason and I , so we could get our own place. I lived with my parents until I had saved enough money to take care of us. When Jason was
6 years old, we moved into our own place. I started dating,and in a couple of years found a guy that I thought it would work out with us. I really cared about him,but I wasn't really in love with him like I had been before with Paul. We weren't married for 2 weeks, before he started beating me. He put me in the hospital several times from the beatings. We stayed together 6 months,and Jason and I left him. He never hurt Jason, just me. Jason and I got our own apartment,and he ( Lance was his name) broke in when Jason wasn't there and kidnapped me,he beat me,and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere. Someone passing by saw me ,and took me to a hospital. I was too scarred to press charges, so I never did.
A few years later I met another guy that I really cared about,and eventually fell in love with him. Jason and I loved him. He had 2 children from another marriage. They were 6 months and 1 1/2 years old. Which to this day still love them so much. And still am in contact with them. We were married for 23 years when my husband went through mid life crisis.Out of the blue, he left me for a 24 year old girl,that had 3 children under the age of 5 years old. He went to where I worked and threatened my bosses,and I was fired. I had worked there for 24 years . I lost
my job,my husband,my house in one month. I didn't think I would make it. I really didn't even want to. I tried committing suicide,and of course I made it. After that,
my husband wanted to get back with me, not because of me,it was because his
young girlfriend decided she was a lesbian. We didn't get back.
I did something I had never done, I went online to meet a friend,and I met Kenny
he brought more happiness in my life in 7 years than I had been in my whole life.
He showed me what real love was. I had never been this happy in my whole life. I just looked forward to waking up every morning to this wonderful man. He was a Chef,and he cooked for me and my family all the time. Up until Kenny got really sick he had hair down to the middle of his back,and my family accepted him,and understood that even though we saw things in a different way than them, that we
both have big hearts,and love others in a way that a lot of people can't share there love like we can.
Bottom line is that my family and our friends always thought of me to be a hippie,
that I might have my ways a little bit different than some,but I don't walk around giving the peace sign,etc. I just love people, and I thank God for giving me the heart to love others and be there for them. Without that , I wouldn't have you to be here for me. I know this journal is so weird to most of you. I just wanted to let you know a little about me. There is so much I haven't written of course. But I was blessed with a wonderful son,and I couldn't have asked for better parents. True Christians.
I hope that you will not think any less of me, I am a really good person. I have had a really hard life,and what I have written is not even the beginning of what I have been through,but I brought most of it on to myself. And just want to move on with my new friends here to help me to find my way through this really hard journey without Kenny.
Bottom line is, that I have been married 4 times. My first my son's dad, I was too young to be married,after I divorced him, iwent out with Hank Williams Jr. twice,and I posed for Harley Davidson in a bikini, which were two of my hi lities at the time for me.2nd was very abusive,between 2nd and 3rd I was engaged 7 times that I backed out of, I got scarred to remarry. 3rd left me for a younger girl (mid life crisis), and 4th, the true love of my life, I lost to bladder cancer.
Hugs,
Deanna
Replies
Quite a life and a lot of wisdom learned through the years. You are a peach! I am so glad you got to experience the love of your life. I\'m proud to call you my friend. You are a loving and caring person and don\'t ever be afraid to show the true you to others. it is priceless! Peace. Darleen
Hi Deanna, Your journal has touched my heart! Words can not express how I feel about you. I am so sorry you endured such an awful life until you met Kenny. I am glad that you found a wonderful man to love you and show you that all men are not BAD! To lose the love of your life is heartbreaking. We all know that feeling here.
You are a beautiful woman, inside and out!
Hugs, Valerie
How can one think less of you for sharing something that deep and personal. I\'m sorry you had to endure such pain before you could find happiness only to find pain again. What we do in our life makes us who we are. You are a better person because of your experiences. ((HUGS)) Steve
Deanna, I admire you for sharing your story. Thankyou for letting me know you better my friend. Like the others here have said, I think MORE of you knowing the road you have traveled. I am honored to be your friend here at DS.
Hugs and love, Patricia :-)
Thank you so very much for allowing us to know you better. Most everything you went through in your life makes you who you are today. You have so much heart and compassion for others and YOU ARE STRONG. And just to note, it was the others IN your life who did YOU wrong. Not one of us had the absolute perfect life or partner. We had perfect for US!
Hugs my friend
Brenda
I would never think less of you. I admire you. You went though so much but you survived and it shows how strong you are. Wish I could be half that strong. None of us has had a perfect life. That\'s just how it goes. That\'s life. It\'s how we get though it is what counts I guess.
I think you can see from all these positive repsonses that your fears about how other woul dreact was was a bit unneeded.. We all have come from a variety of backgrounds, some more challenging than others, but there is a commonality amongst us all. we are here to help and support one another to get better TODAY. not concerning ourselves too much about what brought us here, buit moreimportantly ho wwe can get better together today.
I am so proud of you for sharing your story, I understand how much courage it took and I applaud you.
You are quite the remarkable lady :)
*huggs
Deanna-thanks for sharing all that.WOW-all I can say.dont feel ashamed for who you are...hippie or not-I too was a hippie as well as my husband-I miss those days but some people think it\'s a bad thing.You\'ve been through alot and apparently a very strong woman.I look up to you.ME?I\'m not so strong.I am flailing very bad here right now....but whatever.I leave it up to God.
Deanna thanks for sharing your story with us. You have been through so much in your life. I admire you so much!!!!!!!!! I am so thankful and sad that you found and lost the love of your life. You have taken everything you have experienced and turned it into something positive....the wonderful kind person you are today, Hugs Lu Ann
Your story really touched me I just had to read it again.....youve been thru so much and still going!you are an inspiration.There is no judgement here-Like I said I admire for still going.You mustve had a lot of lessons to learn this life time.And look at how far youve come! Love Lois
Deanna...you are like a rose..many beautiful layers. All those experiences have made you pure gold. Many would become bitter, negative creatures...but you let it shape you into a truly honest, loving, caring person who can,,,because of it all,,,relate so wonderfully to others and their pain and loss. Keep on keeping on girl. You are truly a rare gem of human being.
Oh DeDe, life is truly amazing. The hippie thang touched many here, & me as well. I guess Hank never learned from his journies A? We have similar paths, & now we are left w/ a new journey. Unfortunately one that doesn\'t include the most important component, Kenny & my Love, Maryanne. Sometimes it still is just unbelievable that She isn\'t here, it\'s just not fair.
It takes much courage to put it all out there for all to see, but it helps us too, to understand how good We had it after We feel someone else\'s pain. Unfortunately though, so much is taken for granted until someone like yourself puts it in writing & it makes people think how good they have had it. Some of the wealthiest people in the world are so unhappy & some of the most beautiful people in the World are the loneliest. You\'ve traveled a hard road but lived Life through your Soul & Kenny was lucky man. Ur in my heart ((xx))
Dear friend,
I am so sorry that there has been so much suffering in your life. It is a testament to you that you survived, and became a person with a great heart, able to love....
I send you comfort, peace and lots of gentle hugs....
Deanna,
You were delt a hard hand in life but know that every hardship that satan put in your path was to try to stop you from being who you are today. God\'s sweet loving daughter, he may of tried to throw hell at you but you survived and now you have a testimony to show how much God loves you and you Him.
If you have not read my shocking testimony yet, your welcome to, it is somewhere in my journals.
I know that I was embarrassed of telling it but now I know it is cleansing to the soul to share it.
Dear sister in Christ, you must now know that Jesus has forgotten your past and you must forget it and not feel embarrassed or any guilt from it either.
What done is done and now you have the future to look forward to because God tells us to put on the armor of God and the breastplate is in front not in back, why?
Because the past can not hurt you anymore only the front if you do not where His armor.
So put it on and keep walking forward in His name.
I love you sister, know that and thank you for sharing your testimony.
Hugs & God Bless,
Judy
Deanna, Your story touches my very soul. You are an inspiration to so many women that have been in an abusive relationship. You made it out. You were also so fortunate to have found another love and were able to share 7 wonderful years together. Hugs to you, Lee