I wanted to say first that I am so sorry for being poor pitiful me.
So much is going wrong right now for me. But everything that
is going wrong could be worse. I am just having to find the answer
to the things that are going wrong. I feel really lost right now.Seems
every time that I don't know what to do,something happens good to
answer my question. I am really blessed with the friends I have found
on Daily Strength. Thanks for writing back when I needed you most.
I am sorry that I am feeling so depressed right now,but with your
friendship I am doing so much better. I really do appreciate you taking the
time to write to me. And in a couple of days I will write back,and hopefully
we can help each other.
So much is going wrong right now for me. But everything that
is going wrong could be worse. I am just having to find the answer
to the things that are going wrong. I feel really lost right now.Seems
every time that I don't know what to do,something happens good to
answer my question. I am really blessed with the friends I have found
on Daily Strength. Thanks for writing back when I needed you most.
I am sorry that I am feeling so depressed right now,but with your
friendship I am doing so much better. I really do appreciate you taking the
time to write to me. And in a couple of days I will write back,and hopefully
we can help each other.
Replies
I think we all feel poor pitiful me, I see people out and about rushing around, here in San Diego everyone is in such a big hurry speeding on the freeways and my mind is just in a fog thinking how I am going to get through another day, it seems it never ends with all the legal stuff I am trying to handle. We women are so emotional and that doesn\'t help when trying to decipher how to manage money and just handling things that my husband did so effortlessly. He never listened to me when I wanted to get all our affairs in order (ex. Trust and wills) he would always procrastinate, now my worst nightmare has come true.... I know there are a lot of ladies on this site who probably have it worse than I do, and maybe a year from now I\'ll look back and say \" wow, I made it through the worst of times\" I can only hope.... This is a good place to talk with others and get support, it\'s really all I have.. I tried going to a widow\'s meeting a couple of times, but they rehash the events of how their husbands passed away and I couldn\'t stand re-living that horrible day anymore, so I stopped going. I\'ve got 2 books I\'ve been reading, one is I wasn\'t ready to say goodbye\" and the other I just got \"Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World\" amazon gave them both excellent reviews, so I\'m hoping to glean some insight and help from them... That\'s all I can do at this point, it\'s something everyone is going to face sometime in their lives, we just weren\'t ready for it, we were hoping to at least grow old together, like our parents did. I enjoy getting a message from you and hopefully we can draw strength from each other. Love, christine
You know when you said your mind is in a fog,I can totally relate to that.
I am having such a hard time concentrating . When I try and have a
conversation with anyone I can\'t remember the words I am looking for.
I stay tired a lot,because I am having a hard time sleeping. I bought me some
Melatonin ,and sometimes it helps a little.
I am sorry that you are going through so much with legal matters. That has got to be so hard to do right now. I was lucky and my husband had a will done. Hospice helped us to get a lot of our legal\'s in order. My husband and I don\'t have a lot ,which actually makes everything easier. We sold our home in 2006 , and moved to Colorado where he is originally from. We stayed there until 2008. Came back to Louisiana where my family is. Then in 2009 Kenny was diagnosed with bladder cancer. We moved to Texas,so he could go through the VA for his surgery. He didn\'t have medical insurance at the time.He had a 6 lb. tumor in the wall of the bladder. They removed his bladder and prostate. Went through chemo for 5 months. He was sick every day. He lost 50 lbs. Kenny was 6ft.4\". He was losing all this weight and I was gaining all this weight. Figure. Jan.2010 we had good news that the chemo had worked ,and he was in remission. We came back to LA. ,and decided to move in a apartment. We were trying to make living as easy as possible for us. I have emphysema,and can\'t do as much as I used to as well. Kenny was a Chef. And when we came back home, we started doing almost all of the cooking for us and my mom. we had such a good time doing everything together. I help take care of my mother as well. Everything mom needed we were able to help her with it. So, my mother is also having a hard time with the loss of Kenny as well.
I lost my dad in 1993 to lung cancer,and my sister in 1996 to a brain tumor. She was only 45 .
I also tried going to the widows meeting,and I got more depressed there. I didn\'t go back either. Christine, we will make it,that I am sure of. It\'s going to take some time. I feel like he has been gone forever. And it\'s only been 2 months. I have been having a hard time thinking about the pain he was in. I don\'t know why I keep thinking about that last week,when we had years of happiness. And then I start thinking maybe I could\'ve done more. I couldn\'t save him,just sometimes feel this guilt. They say this is normal. Maybe it is, I\'m not sure. I am interested in those books you ordered. I order all of my books from Amazon. I ordered so many when Kenny was sick. Caregiver\'s books, anything I could find that related to what was going on with us. Trying to find answers that weren\'t there.Some times there is something written in these books that can make you see things in a different light. And sometimes we can even feel a little bit better .I am so glad to hear from you.And I think we could be very good support to each other. We will get through this , just going to take some time. Talk with you soon.
Deanna