Whew!

I got through the holidays much easier this year.  Still painful, and crying, but easier.  Thank God for friends and family.
Honey, I miss you.  I am OK and my life is OK.  I have accepted that you could not stay and are in a better place.  I'm sorry that I still cry, but I need to.  It is the only way I can get things out in the open instead of being pent up inside.  You never liked to see me cry, but I hope you understand.
This is a comfortable place now.  I spend time with the family and friends.  It doesn't replace you, but I know this is how it has to be and it is OK.  I am glad and blessed that I have these people in my life.  Some understand, and some don't, but that is OK too.
So many things stab at my heart.  I love you so much and get comfort in knowing I will be with you again one day.  In the meantime, I am going to do the best I can, and do all the things I have been wanting to do before I pass also.  You would not have wanted any less for me.  I am also glad the family has gotten closer.  With our losses, we realize that we need each other.
Love from your wife, Debbie