Another Update
Hi All--
My anti-depressants have been tweaked and I have been assured by both my counselor and psychiatrist that I will not spiral down again into helplessness to the point where I need to be hospitalized. That in itself, feels good.
I am now writing down my thoughts and taking them to my counseling sessions. I have been afraid of some of my thoughts for so long, that the only way I am going to rebuild is to write them down, face them, and discuss them. I have also been afraid to cry for I feel that is a signal of spiralling down into the black hole where I have no strength to climb out of. I have been assured that won't happen either.
I am not ready to date, and don't know if I ever will be. If I could have my husband back, that would be a different story. I miss him every day, even though it has been 2-1/2 years. I am still adjusting to living the single life, and believed that was spiralling me to the black hole of hospitalization, but again, I have been assured that is not the case.
As long as I am on my meds, which may be the rest of my life, I will remain out of the hospital. So, I have a good cry when I have to, take my pills, and also anti-anxiety meds during the day. Constant anxiety doesn't allow anyone to cope, nor process thoughts. Anxiety is a liar, and feeds false thinking into your brain.
I have a ways to go, but feel I am on the right track. My family and my cat need me and loves me. I must go on, even though the journey remains painful.
Debbie
My anti-depressants have been tweaked and I have been assured by both my counselor and psychiatrist that I will not spiral down again into helplessness to the point where I need to be hospitalized. That in itself, feels good.
I am now writing down my thoughts and taking them to my counseling sessions. I have been afraid of some of my thoughts for so long, that the only way I am going to rebuild is to write them down, face them, and discuss them. I have also been afraid to cry for I feel that is a signal of spiralling down into the black hole where I have no strength to climb out of. I have been assured that won't happen either.
I am not ready to date, and don't know if I ever will be. If I could have my husband back, that would be a different story. I miss him every day, even though it has been 2-1/2 years. I am still adjusting to living the single life, and believed that was spiralling me to the black hole of hospitalization, but again, I have been assured that is not the case.
As long as I am on my meds, which may be the rest of my life, I will remain out of the hospital. So, I have a good cry when I have to, take my pills, and also anti-anxiety meds during the day. Constant anxiety doesn't allow anyone to cope, nor process thoughts. Anxiety is a liar, and feeds false thinking into your brain.
I have a ways to go, but feel I am on the right track. My family and my cat need me and loves me. I must go on, even though the journey remains painful.
Debbie
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