Finally !
It is 9:30 pm and I am finally done with things tonight. I haven't been on here very much because I have moved into my own duplex a couple of weeks ago and FINALLY got my cable and internet back! A person doesn't realize how much one depends on that.
The weather here has been in the middle to high 50s! can't believe it for being January in Iowa! Nice...
I tried to call Eric.. so it would be almost 10:30 pm there. he said he wasn't working today, so I guess he is.... out. ok.. I know I shouldn't have. , I need to wake up and just accept that he doesn't want to be with me... very stupid on his part because I would have treated him sooooo good! My heart has been with him for the last 2 years. I have stuck through so much with him. ups and downs, but I still have fought for him.
I am always the one"chasing" him. He doesn't call me to much. One day he did during the day, just to tell me he was calling the numbers for bingo at work. WHICH I felt that it made me feel pretty good that he called ME, but then I never heard from him the rest of the night.
I've sent him pictures, text, emails, and he never lets me know his comments or replys back. every blue moon he will call. I know he is busy with work, but I also know that he is "seeing" a women too.
He says he isn't into her, she is weird, bla, bla bla, but he still hangs out with her. Says he hasn't had sex with her .
I dont' know what to think or feel anymore. Unless he is working... I don't understand why he doesn't call me, unless he really doesn't want to be with me, but just doesn't want to tell me.
I know I am the best thing for him, AND I know he knows that. we still have talked for a few hours at a time, when we do talk.. I dont' know..maybe I am just missing him.
I just dont' know what to think. All I can do is take each at a time...
In the mean time.. keep working, keep head up and keep the faith and hope.. one day,,, If I keep my heart open,, love will find it's way in... But I want real love, someone who will love me for real, not just for a while, or until he can't handle things, but someone who will go through the ups and downs, and be there when we get through it all.
I hope I can have that. I have a big heart and a whole lot of love to give... to someone... where are you out there? tired of waiting...
The weather here has been in the middle to high 50s! can't believe it for being January in Iowa! Nice...
I tried to call Eric.. so it would be almost 10:30 pm there. he said he wasn't working today, so I guess he is.... out. ok.. I know I shouldn't have. , I need to wake up and just accept that he doesn't want to be with me... very stupid on his part because I would have treated him sooooo good! My heart has been with him for the last 2 years. I have stuck through so much with him. ups and downs, but I still have fought for him.
I am always the one"chasing" him. He doesn't call me to much. One day he did during the day, just to tell me he was calling the numbers for bingo at work. WHICH I felt that it made me feel pretty good that he called ME, but then I never heard from him the rest of the night.
I've sent him pictures, text, emails, and he never lets me know his comments or replys back. every blue moon he will call. I know he is busy with work, but I also know that he is "seeing" a women too.
He says he isn't into her, she is weird, bla, bla bla, but he still hangs out with her. Says he hasn't had sex with her .
I dont' know what to think or feel anymore. Unless he is working... I don't understand why he doesn't call me, unless he really doesn't want to be with me, but just doesn't want to tell me.
I know I am the best thing for him, AND I know he knows that. we still have talked for a few hours at a time, when we do talk.. I dont' know..maybe I am just missing him.
I just dont' know what to think. All I can do is take each at a time...
In the mean time.. keep working, keep head up and keep the faith and hope.. one day,,, If I keep my heart open,, love will find it's way in... But I want real love, someone who will love me for real, not just for a while, or until he can't handle things, but someone who will go through the ups and downs, and be there when we get through it all.
I hope I can have that. I have a big heart and a whole lot of love to give... to someone... where are you out there? tired of waiting...
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