another day
Just got home from work on this Friday afternoon. Almost 2:00. After I'm done here.. just thinking of all the things that I need to get done, and thinking of what has happened to this crazy world we live in.
I can't just seem to have one thing go wrong when it comes to me. When it rains it pours. They are big things... Loosing my mom to cancer, Loosing my LDR Which both of these people are my best friends who I have talked to everyday, off and on. having to move in with my daughter until I can find another place/state to move to. Loosing the job that I enjoyed so much. (property Management) All at once.
I am only staying with my daughter until I can seriously find another job to take me out of this place. I love her to death for letting me stay there. But I hope this spring if not before, I will be able to find a new place to call home. I was planning on moving to Ohio to my LDR Eric's, but now I guess he doesn't want that. Why? i have noooo clue. We were making plans, etc and now all of a sudden he is "confused" we are 500 miles apart, but we still saw each other weeks at a time every 3-4 months for 2 years He told me how much he loved me and would NEVER leave us. I have a video of him telling me how much he loved me when I went to visit there and he started to cry with emotion. That is how much he loves me, and that was just this summer! How does one change feelings that fast? I never changed my feelings for hiim.
I am still trying to keep in touch with him. But I know that there will come a point, that I will have to let go. If he doesn't see what he has , then one day I hope he does.. I know that he is making the biggest mistake, and it will be his loss. Even his mother likes me, but he thinks it's only because I would be her replacement for him. He doesn't need a 2nd mom, AND could it be that she REALLY knows that I am a good person, and would be perfect for him? Mothers have a way of knowing what is good for their kids. even if they hadn't figured it out.
I don't know.. anyway. I just feel better writing about things. I keep hoping things will work out for us. He starts his new job on monday, and I know he hasn't had one in years, so he feels very proud etc.. and he should, but I just hope this all doesn't go to his head and thinks he's to good for me and won't work on us. I stuck through everything with him. No job, anger issues, his kids moving away,going through his divorce, everything. I never gave up on him. Know matter what we were going through. Every guys dream to have someone like that. All I can is hope that I will get that special call from him that he wants us back 100% and he's sorry. But I know some people have a hard time saying, I'm sorry.
We have a serendipty movie that we both love. We've watched over and over together, it's kinda our story, but I hope in the end, I can have my happily ever after. with him.
But I hope he will feel about me as much as I do about him. I don't understand why I love so deep, and the guys just kinda take it or leave it. I thought he wasn't like that. we'll see in the end.
I talked to him last night, at least once in a while... there's hope & faith.. I pray that God is hearing my prayers.
I can't just seem to have one thing go wrong when it comes to me. When it rains it pours. They are big things... Loosing my mom to cancer, Loosing my LDR Which both of these people are my best friends who I have talked to everyday, off and on. having to move in with my daughter until I can find another place/state to move to. Loosing the job that I enjoyed so much. (property Management) All at once.
I am only staying with my daughter until I can seriously find another job to take me out of this place. I love her to death for letting me stay there. But I hope this spring if not before, I will be able to find a new place to call home. I was planning on moving to Ohio to my LDR Eric's, but now I guess he doesn't want that. Why? i have noooo clue. We were making plans, etc and now all of a sudden he is "confused" we are 500 miles apart, but we still saw each other weeks at a time every 3-4 months for 2 years He told me how much he loved me and would NEVER leave us. I have a video of him telling me how much he loved me when I went to visit there and he started to cry with emotion. That is how much he loves me, and that was just this summer! How does one change feelings that fast? I never changed my feelings for hiim.
I am still trying to keep in touch with him. But I know that there will come a point, that I will have to let go. If he doesn't see what he has , then one day I hope he does.. I know that he is making the biggest mistake, and it will be his loss. Even his mother likes me, but he thinks it's only because I would be her replacement for him. He doesn't need a 2nd mom, AND could it be that she REALLY knows that I am a good person, and would be perfect for him? Mothers have a way of knowing what is good for their kids. even if they hadn't figured it out.
I don't know.. anyway. I just feel better writing about things. I keep hoping things will work out for us. He starts his new job on monday, and I know he hasn't had one in years, so he feels very proud etc.. and he should, but I just hope this all doesn't go to his head and thinks he's to good for me and won't work on us. I stuck through everything with him. No job, anger issues, his kids moving away,going through his divorce, everything. I never gave up on him. Know matter what we were going through. Every guys dream to have someone like that. All I can is hope that I will get that special call from him that he wants us back 100% and he's sorry. But I know some people have a hard time saying, I'm sorry.
We have a serendipty movie that we both love. We've watched over and over together, it's kinda our story, but I hope in the end, I can have my happily ever after. with him.
But I hope he will feel about me as much as I do about him. I don't understand why I love so deep, and the guys just kinda take it or leave it. I thought he wasn't like that. we'll see in the end.
I talked to him last night, at least once in a while... there's hope & faith.. I pray that God is hearing my prayers.
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