Another day....

I'm just sitting here waiting to go to work. Just feeling in shock that how things can change so fast. Thinking,,,thinking,,,,But I wonder.. why can't things change so fast for the good? Why for me is that things always have to be a struggle.
I know that I am a really good hearted person. So then why is it that I have to struggle to be happy? Is there something wrong that I am doing? Or is it just plain me?
I finally meet this guy that I have totally fallin in love with. Didn't think that I ever would with anyone after what the last 6 years were for me. I thought I was ruined for life...but here comes this guy from this web sit, finding me.. became friends first,, with time,, pow! we fell in love! AND this guy loves me! AND shows it to me. I love the time we have together. He lives 10 hours away that really sucks, but now we have learned that guess what? We can't stand to be apart...we want to be together. The distance is awful.
He was just here visiting and we grew so close.. it was great! .
Time is something that I have been waiting already for..I'm ready to have someone in my life day to day and be happy , and have that love and affection from to day... I'm 50 years old.. 4 bad relationships.. I'm ready.. but for now.. I love this man so much,
I am going to go to work and try to keep my chin up and be happy. I was so sad , but happy the day he left go back home. sad because I didn't want to see him go, but happy because we are in love and can't wait to see him again and hold him.
I hope he means what he is telling me,, he wants to be with me and have a life with me,,, he even was going to move here,, I would have welcomed him with open arms!