bleh...

My p-doc is okay. He's competent as far as I can tell. He's just not the sort to invite confidences. I went in today and he's increased my med dosages and added Abilify to the cocktail. I told him about my Dad, he was pretty blase about it, though I've been having crying jags (some of them unrelated to the Dad thing) too. The p-doc says we'll go 8 weeks if there are no emergencies. He did ask whether I though I needed to be in hospital. I said no, but what do I know, isn't he the one trained for these things? I know I don't want to be in hospital ever ever again. So if I'm asked of course I'm going to say no, inless there are no other possible options. I asked for a work slip for the rest of the week. I don't know what good that'll do. I know I have to email/call Dr. B about an extension for the paper. I don't know if I'll get it, but the way I feel at this moment I don't really care, except I do--does that even make sense? I feel like this before big breaks from life, the kind of blue mood depression that sees me holed up in my room and ignoring everything and everyone.