blah
so much for taking the right steps, for making an effort to do the right things. i felt on edge in a bad way, i felt if i wasn't in hospital bad things were going to happen. they sent me home. i waited and called and waited for the hospital's p-doc to return from his holiday...they told me they don't accept my insurance tough luck and suggested i call the hospital back. called the hospital again they told me to go to the emergency room. went to the emergency room and waited for four hours in a supply cupboard (okay they call it "small conference room A," but it's obviously where they store all the reams of paperwork and stationery supplies needed in the emergency department. after 4 hours i figured they were just going to leave me there to rot so i left. called another p-doc office this morning. finally got a call back...they're affiliated with p-doc #1 and do not accept my insurance. sooo.....what next? i'm trying very hard to keep an even keel, but the thought slips in more often than i'm comfortable with that if i should top myself off my family would have a helluva lawsuit to bring against the p-docs and the hospitals. not planning anything, but i am hurting and want it to stop.
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top off?? not sure what that means but if it means what i think it means. . .wait. . .I\'m confussed. I\'m not sure what it means. the point here is that if you . . .there will be lots of people who won\'t know why or when or. . .just won\'t know, like ME! OK, so i\'m gonna be a little selffish here and say, do it for me. do it because me and God love you.
I\'m sorry you received such inadequate support... I don\'t fully understand how the health care system works over there but it sounds like it sucks (understatment)
I\'m so relieved you are not planning anything... and I hope it stays that way... wish I had some advice on the pdoc situation... I\'ve had a lot of times with ideation... the only way I get through it is by trying to focus on anything positive ... nearly impossible sometimes I know... especially if we are losing hope that things are going to get better... I\'m sorry you are in so much pain... but please remember that things can get better... its just sustaining ourselves in the meantime I know... I really hope things start to ease up for you x