Alive

I am trilled that I have a sceduled over night visti with all three of my kids this Saturday. Still not out of the woods yet.  I got a fairly good review with the court appointed MD on my recovery. He also seemed concerned about the abnormal amount of restrictions my ex is placing on my visits with the children.  It is back to court on the 29th. God willing this will be over soon.  I am still peering at the edge of bankruptcy. It is scarry.  I am moving to a smaller, cheaper apartment next week.  It will help but by no means will it make my finacial problems go away.  My mother pointed out the sad fact that I am a teacher of economics and I am suffering badly from money problems.  I pointed out it just makes the pain all that much deeper.  She has been helping me where she can but she has a load of problems she still has to deal with.  I can remember the days that I never fooled around or cared about money.  I knew how much I made, and how much I could spend.  Now, I just dont make enough to survive.  This is where my higher power comes in.  I can no longer control my own life so I have place the care of my life in the hands of my higher power.  I must have faith that he will take care of me in this difficult time.     I have been through alot in the last couple of years.  I am very thankful that I am sober and that my children are back in my life.  How recklessly I took for granted my children.  Today, I am thankful they get to see me once every other week.  By God's grace they will be back in mylife more.  I have gotten help for my problem, I can only pray that my ex and her family gets the help they need for their sake and the sake of the children.