I know this journal reads like a bad sequal that will never go away.  Different week, same ole things.  Life without my kids is becomeing a common thing.  I still hurt very deeply inside when I think of the them.  Not to many people care or can speak to me about it.  What I feel inside is pain.  They play about rarely wondering where daddy is.  Their mother tells them the most hurtful lies I am sure when they do ask I never really had many friends and my work scedule leaves me little time to make new ones.  Chances of meeting anyone to spend time with is slight.  I keep my chin up and try to do the best I can with what I have. I am not sulking and rolling around in self pity it is just the way it is.  Tomorrow it will be time to put a smile on my face and a spring in my step as I take my helm as a popular teacher at the highschool. Afterwards, a comb through the hair and a smirk on my face to try and sell another car.  Another day.Spring is hard........... very hard......