Had a good weekend went out with my friends for my mates girlfriends birthday, I even got 2 girls phone numbers, called one of them she didnt seem that bothered (story of my life) so i cant be bothered with her, the other girl i might call tommorow! Self esteem is really low at the moment, not sure what i can do to raise it. anxiety is dying down abit, thank God its making it easier to manage people as when my axiety is really bad its a nightmare but i suppose that must mean im a good leader if i can still function as a manager at my lowest, I think in the future i can be a really good manager, just have to get my confidence back and its gonna take alot of hard work. Been through so much its unreal, conseller said to me a couple of years ago its remarkable what i have achieved after what i have been through, just want to know when im gonna start feeling the happyness i deserve? if i cant get it then Ill try to make people happy around me like i do already i hope and least will have done some good in my life. I have done some really bad shit in my life and im racked with guilt maybe thats why im depressed but lot of people around me that have done far worse and there alot bettter off how come they get it so easy?? Anyway im gonna get some sleep and book an appointment with the doctor for another prescription, hopefully i wont be a miserable git tommorow!rich