What am I inspired to say... I hate the world.  I have enmity with the world.  Yes.. it, kills. It is not one entity, one being, one instance of regret.  World in and of itself... the world can not recognize itself in a mirror.  World cannot see it's own indignities.  World, dies.
I will not remember,  I have no control. The world and it's iniquities are doomed..selah.  As we speak I know of a man I have loved, I have compassion for who was close to death.  I envied him. I was jealous. He recovers, and I have sadness.  I wish better for him.  I had a sister close to death once, in a moment I had no knowledge of her continuing existence... I did not sense she was near her demise... and it aggravated me.  This one who claimed so close to God that she refused medical assistance...eventually gave in to medical treatment, proving the world beats all.  Whatever she has to say about God, has no meaning, she proved worldly existence is most important.  Her words of conviction can have no meaning anymore, she forfeited her reliance even unto death.  She loved the world, am I to accept this?  I wish I was in that same place as her once. I hope to be.  You will not see me revoke all beliefs.  Kill me oh Lord.  I have not been quiet in asking you every night for 28 years.  No good comes from my existence, no revelation will come to me.  I am death waiting, longer than I should.
Rush,rush, hurry love come to me..