Blame

I find myself wondering who is accountable for my pain. If there is a god, is it him, or is it me? If there is no god, is it others, or is it me? Logically I am the common denominator, which stands to reason why I blame... me. I don't see myself as needing to be, whatever reason or cause I existed for has likely been completed... and so I sit with no purpose. Feeling empty. I hear no calling, no whispers of hope, no grand visions. I am simply waiting out my allotted time... thinking that someone along the way miscalculated a smudge... questioning life itself and whether any one given person matters in the grand scheme of anything. I do not want to be here. Who's authority says I have to be? Who's authority am I suffering by?