Had one of those long discussions last night that don't go anywhere. Hardly slept a wink.She just doesn't get it.She actually gets mad at me for believing what I do about her a. It's not like I can help it. I have these views for a reason.I wish she'd stop putting so much energy into convincing me that it's all in my head and focus more on taking responsibility and stepping up to change things.
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What is she mad about exactly? What do you believe about the A? My H and I barely talk about it anymore. I don\'t see much point in it either, but it\'s been almost a year. Most often I just keep the feeling inside, and I talk about it here on DS. How is she trying to convince you that\'s it\'s all in your head? my h takes responsibility or has taken responsibility, i\'ll give him credit for that. I know he wonders why healing is taking me so long, although he hasn\'t said it. He\'s at a different place then me, I can tell that by his actions and attitude. I can tell he rarely thinks about the A anymore. Wish I could get to that point.
I believe she thought the om was better than me. She claims she didn\'t think that, but there\'s a lot of convincing evidence that I have a hard time overlooking.
Anytime there\'s a trigger that sparks an issue her reaction is always the same. Instead of being understanding, she defends herself and acts like I\'m crazy, making things up. And gets mad at me for not believing her hollow words.
She says that she accepts responsibility, but does she really when she acts like it\'s all in my head? In my mind it shifts the burden to me.
I honestly hate talking about the a too. But I have a very hard time keeping my feelings hidden. This part of it just really hurts.
Shit mate, this is just so familiar. The blame shifting bullshit.
Your wife and mine could well be sisters.
Keep strong mate. maintain your dignity.
regards,
Mick
When people cheat, they deflect blame. My stbx was a professional at it. Everything was my fault. I believe it helps them with guilt to shift the blame to you. Hugs to you.