today
Today was a bit better. I just constantly have to monitor my thoughts, which is what i did today. I realize my self worth is still pretty low, so i even have to say affirmations when i am feeling lost inside. I thought i was well on the way to recovery considering how much therapy i have done, but i'm scared i may have just touched the tip of the iceberg!!! I have so many false beliefs in my head from all the abuse i've endured during the 28 years of my life, and its sad that i still am affected by much of my childhood and teenage years. I noticed that my anger is creeping up on me, and thats not good... i already have a bad temper. I really need to get to my therapist. And go to more meetings. I know i am holding on for dear life to many resentments and it really is killing me. Slowly but surely.... i need to refocus and let go... i am too much of a control freak. Even that though, must stem from a dyfunctional and chaotic upbringing... poor me, i have so much work to do!!!! but i will not give up... i always try to pick myself up when i fall....
Replies
Dear Confused,
And just what would it cost you to give up those resentments? I am not saying that you should ever forget what was done to you but by holding onto the resentments they are poisoning you! Let God handle the revenge, that is his job anyway. Just wonder what you learned by surviving. I find journaling even if shown to not a soul, really helps. Eric
you sound like me. yea it is hard but well worth it. alot to get through and overcome. I\'ve been reading alot of spiritual and self help stuff, meditation books and going to meetings helps alot too. Keep keeping on, it\'ll all work out in the end. one day at a time, one step at a time. it sucks I know. Hard to let go of control, hard to let go of resentments. I just think of all I\'ve done and the mistakes I\'ve made and it\'s easier for me to forgive others if I want to be forgived. best wishes and hugs