10 months 11 months 1 year

People are so rosey with there lives in tact. Happy talking about their plans, who they are going to do it with. They are forfilling their dreams. They have their loved ones, their spouses.Tommy is gone 11 months, His birthday is Sept 20, and I am missing him. He was my gift from God! I was so blessed when he came into my life.  We met at our thirty year HS reunion and were  together ever since. Life opened up to me and I had never known such happiness. That had all change The 25th of October.I have my memories, Letters that I hold so dear and pictutures, How I want to hold him, Look into his beautiful blue eyes see that sweet smile,run my fingers though his wavy curly blonde hair. I want to snap- scream.I was doing okay Tommy did come to me in several dreams and I did get to do just that.See his smile, blue eyes, run my fingers though his hair, I held his face in my hands, wrapping my arms around him telling him how I miss him, that I love him so so very much!!. We even talked I can't remember what we talked about. I believe we talked along time and I had peace afterwards. I really had a uplift, I could face the world.His birthday is this Saturday and I am going though the depression again.I have locked my doors not that any one will be coming to visit. My friends moved out of state, Texas,Tenn,Cal, and Upstate, I am here because of my job. Can't sell the house yet, Tommy and I tore alot of it apart to remodel and I am left here to do it myself. So much to do and don't know where to begin,  I sit in my chair and cry