10 good things to make up for one bad thing......
Whew....another stressful day.....received a letter complaining about an employee....from someone who is probably a nut from the sounds of the letter. This morning I got a wonderful commendation from someone I respect for how I handled a difficult situation.....why does the complaint letter take up so much room in my head and mess up my mood instead of me basking in the glow of the really wonderful things said to me earlier today???? . ...... I have read it takes 10 good things to make up for one bad thing for the average person.....That just seems like a ratio I don't really want to live in.....10 good to strike off one bad......seems like a way to live life in a very unhappy place. Sooooooooooo....tonight I will think about the beautiful things that were said to me by someone I esteem, and spend less mental time on the nasty things said about my employee (and by association my business) by someone I don't even know or respect. I don't want my peace and positivity (and probably my recovery in a way) to be so weak or vulnerable to everyone passing by who wants to take a shot at it. I need to not let bad things hit me so hard.....and this, for me, might be one of the keys to recovery. Right now, this takes a lot of effort, maybe it will get easier if I keep at it! I have to learn to talk to myself in a different way, and choose what things I will spend my mental time on. Is that really possible??? I hope so.... If I choose not to be so deeply affected by the negative, maybe I won't feel I have to escape.....to numb out....to gamble. Maybe I can keep it together a little more to be able to enjoy life a little more, to have the strength to do the work I need to make my life a better place.
Replies
I have always been a glass half full type of girl...but....at the same time...easily upset too....and likely to go into CRISIS mode even when it wasn\'t really necessary...
i sometimes look back on how I used to be....for me...rather than \'focusing on the negative\' I think it was more about \'creating drama\'
i\'m learning that....the OPPOSITE of all of that drama is PEACE..and THAT is a much nicer place to be.
You ask \"is it really possible?\"
My experience is....that what you are doing....becoming AWARE of who you are, what you do...and taking steps to begin THINKING differently...is a conscious choice in the beginning...but more and more....it becomes just a part of who we are...
a better way of THINKING...turns into a better way of LIVING.
you sound so so so good ((Diane))
Hey Dianne, ooohhhh yes....I fully understand this JE....as a fellow business owner I have found myself emotionally destroyed for a day by the comments of others....it has been customers comments...employees comments...honest mistakes.....bad mistakes.....etc etc etc etc......Here is the scoop on it....THAT\'S LIFE!!!!! Until you and I lighten up a little bit....we will always be destroyed by ANYTHING that goes wrong! But...I do understand...it all falls on us...WE are the ones that have to answer to eveyone! we are the ones that have to make everyone happy....we are the ones that have to make wrongs right.....we are the ones that have to find the solution.......BUT GUESS WHAT?!? We choose to do it....We make the bacon to do it.....and it just comes with the territory.....When you are feeling down remember that I am right here experiencing the same ups and downs as you!!!! You are a terrific employer and I know for sure that there a definitely 10 goods for every one bad in your life.....Don\'t let some physcho hurt you AND DONT GIVE THE PHYSCHO ANY OF YOUR TIME. I am serious....The worst move I made in my career to this point was trying to help a physcho!!! You are so important to my recovery ...stay connected!!!!! Big Hug!!! Ian : )
Dianne, as a business owner myself, I can relate, but I have had to learn to not give merit to things that don\'t deserve it by acting, or reacting. Most complaints are merely manifested opinions, or perhaps just because someone didn\'t get their way. Don\'t let it camp out in your head, and occupy the time, or the space that it will eat into...its not worth it.
xo
Danya
Hi Dianne,
I don\'t have much to add that our friends haven\'t said...when something negative happens, I tend to focus on that, dwell on that, etc. I am the glass is half empty type...it\'s something we all need to work on.
Hang in there and don\'t let anyone bring your day down. Remember, the more time you spend thinking about it, the more power you give to them...don\'t do it!
Hugs,
Liz
I totally understand your take on getting away from the negativity. It\'s so easy to slip into. Lately, I\'ve been really trying to think and act positively everyday because it\'s so easy to let my emotions go down the negative path. Since I\'ve been doing that, I notice I actually refrain more from telling my friends stories that have a negative beat to them -just because I want to limit the negative exposure from retelling a story that brings me down. So my new thing is taking a dry erase marker and writing on my mirror in the bathroom what I\'m thankful for and what things I will focus on during the day that make me smile. I also have a list of goals - no list is longer than three. But they are all happy, warm fuzzies and now I read them every morning getting ready and every night going to bed. It really helps.